Read Kentucky Christmas for Free Online Page B

don’t learn how to drive in the snow.”
    â€œWhat are you doing here, anyway, Mr. Andrew?” Jack asked, struggling to get the rainbow sprinkles to line up on his reindeer. “Besides running into bars and corrupting the innocence of poor country ministresses?”
    â€œLeave him alone, Jack,” Billie said, sipping her drink. She shivered. Jack was a very heavy-handed bartender. “He’s in sales.”
    â€œOh! Sales! How thrilling. What do you sell?”
    â€œVeterinary supplies.”
    â€œNow, why do I detect a tone of defeat and sadness when you say that? Is veterinary supplies not your calling?”
    â€œNo. I mean, it’s great. Vets need supplies, right?”
    â€œYes, doggie catheters are very important to humanity. Or dogmanity. Think of all the trouble we’d be in if it weren’t for you.”
    â€œHe fixed our ultrasound machine,” Billie said, coming to his defense.
    â€œYou fixed it?” Katie asked him. “You didn’t try to sell her a new one?”
    â€œHe’s not very good at sales.” Billie, his greatest champion, turned traitor.
    â€œI’m just helping my cousin out. Well, he’s helping me out. I got laid off and he gave me a job.”
    â€œWell, that was big of him,” said Jack. “Got you a job and sent you out into the boonies. What is your chosen field, then?”
    â€œI like computers.”
    Jack looked at him expectantly. “That’s it? Just ‘I like computers?’ That’s not much of a field. How did you get laid off? Certainly not for lack of enthusiasm.”
    â€œJack,” Billie warned.
    â€œI’m just trying to see what makes our guest tick, that’s all.”
    â€œI worked for a big law firm in the city.”
    â€œIn Lexington?”
    â€œNo, New York.”
    â€œNew York City! You’re a big city boy! And what, they downsized?”
    â€œYeah. I mean, I didn’t love my job, but I liked fixing computers. I just didn’t like any of the people I fixed them for.”
    â€œI would tell a lawyer joke right now but I happen to be very fond of lawyers at the moment,” Jack said. “They are excellent kissers and they always pick up the tab. Even if they won’t take you home to meet their wives.”
    â€œJack!” Billie laughed. “Last week you said you were done with . . . what did he call them?”
    â€œCloseted self-hating paper-pushers,” said Katie. Jack shot her a look. “What? That’s what you said!”
    â€œThat was last week. I am in a giving, holiday mood.”
    â€œAnd a receiving one,” snorted Katie.
    â€œAnyway! Enough of these sad stories. It’s Christmas! We should be reminiscing and basking in the warmth of our love of humanity.” Jack stood up to pour more water over his tea. “And this conversation is too depressing to have sober. So. Somebody. Happy Christmas memory. You.” He pointed at Andrew.
    â€œUm . . . I don’t know. The holidays aren’t really big in my family.”
    A spoon clattered to the floor and Andrew looked up to see three sets of incredulous eyes staring at him.
    â€œYou live in New York City!”
    â€œTechnically, I live in the suburbs.”
    â€œYou live near New York City,” Katie continued, undaunted. “Are you telling me that you never went ice skating in Rockefeller Center or saw the Rockettes or any of that stuff?”
    â€œNo . . . ”
    â€œYou’re breaking our poor hillbilly hearts,” said Jack. “Billie’s most of all. She’s the Hollow Bend Christmas Elf.”
    â€œThat’s just because I’m short.”
    â€œAnd you’re obsessed with Christmas.”
    â€œI am not!” she said, brushing the jingle-bell tassel from her elf hat out of her eye.
    â€œBut why no big Christmas for you, Andrew? Family tragedy? Was your grandmother involved in a reindeer