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“I have the stuff in the kitchen.” The three of them headed out. Andrew continued to stand in the living room. PeeWee continued to stare.
    Jack turned back. “Come on, Lucky,” he said, grabbing his arm. “Let’s go decorate some cookies.”
    Billie was tearing through the kitchen cabinets, pulling out jars of sprinkles and doo-dads, some of which looked barely edible. She tore the lids off a few cans of atomic-colored icing and laid everything out on the kitchen table. Katie stuck a CD in the player on the kitchen counter and Stevie Wonder started singing about what Christmas meant to him. Jack started dancing while he pulled sugar cookies out of the red tin, which seemed to be bottomless. Half the table was covered, and the tin still wasn’t empty. Then Stevie started repeating himself as the CD skipped back and forth.
    â€œThis stupid thing,” muttered Billie, balancing an open container of sprinkles while reaching for the machine.
    â€œI got it,” said Andrew, and he reached around her and tapped the CD player gently. Stevie Wonder went back to normal. Billie looked at him, wide-eyed. “It’s a gift.” He shrugged. “What else can I do to help?”
    â€œPut this on, Fonzie,” Katie said, plopping a red Santa hat on his head. “And drink this.” She handed him a mug with cold, brown liquid in the bottom.
    He took a gulp. And then he died. “Is this whiskey?” he gasped.
    â€œIt’s bourbon. Hello, you’re in Kentucky.” She put the kettle on the stove and lit the burner. “You can’t make Christmas cookies without hot toddies.”
    Billie rolled her eyes. “Tradition,” she shrugged, laying out three more mugs and pulling a bear of honey out of the cabinet.
    â€œKatie can’t do anything without a hot toddy,” said Jack, sitting down at the head of the table and stuffing a cookie into his mouth.
    â€œHey!” Billie yelled. “Don’t eat them until they’re decorated!”
    â€œIt was broken,” Jack shrugged.
    Billie took Andrew’s mug from him and stuck a tea bag in it. Katie poured the boiling water in, then added more bourbon. “What? He drank most of it,” she said to Billie’s raised eyebrows.
    He sure had. The room started getting a little brighter as the bourbon worked its way through his system. Andrew plopped down in the chair next to Jack, who broke a cookie in half and handed it to him. “This one was broken, too,” he said with a wink. Billie shooed Sniffer out of the kitchen and put a child-proof gate across the doorway. Diablo looked on pitifully from the other side. PeeWee just stared.
    They sat, they decorated, and as the hot toddies flowed, they shrieked and laughed like old friends, which most of them were. Jack stopped after one (“Designated driver,” he said with a shrug), but that didn’t stop him from playing heavy-handed bartender. It also didn’t stop him from decorating some truly depraved elves.
    â€œJack! I’m supposed to bring these to work tomorrow!”
    â€œWhat, you think Keith can’t handle fornicating elves?”
    â€œHis wife looks pretty happy,” Andrew offered, trying to get the red sprinkles onto the points of a star.
    â€œSister in the room!” Katie shouted.
    â€œOh, hush, all of you. Don’t get mad because Keith and Mal are so happy,” Billie said.
    â€œAll thanks to you, right?” Katie asked.
    â€œWell, somebody had to marry them.”
    â€œBillie performed their wedding,” Jack told Andrew. “She’s a real minister.”
    Suddenly Andrew felt like he shouldn’t have been rubbing Billie’s feet. Or he shouldn’t have been thinking the thoughts he was thinking while he rubbed her feet.
    Billie snorted. “Yeah, I got my certificate on the Internet.”
    â€œShe can do funerals, too,” Katie said. “In case you