his hand. Nobody else.
The guru’s eyes narrowed. The gears in his head seemed to clatter, as if he was trying to calculate something. “Okay,” he said. “Minor mistake. Not even you, Marlon?”
Marlon leaned back in his chair silently.
“For now, it doesn’t matter. Let’s just get started,” said Janne.
The guru said that if he was going to continue we would also have to make concessions. Meaning we had to show up on time, answer questions freely, and not bother our fellow participants. We had to be open, honest, and trusting. And in the end, together we would work out what united us despite all of our differences.
Janne sighed loudly.
“Have you ever done anything like this before?”
“Are we going down that road again?” asked the guru.
“Sorry.”
“If you are referring to recording, then yes, I know how to hold a camera,” said the guru huffily. “In another life, I even spent some time at film school.”
“Probably as a janitor,” I mumbled.
I have no idea whether Janne was listening to him or to me or to anything. Marlon’s hand had just started to run along the wheel of her wheelchair again and we all looked away as if the two of them might start going at it right in front of us.
D irk’s eyes practically jumped out of his head when I appeared at dinner in the kitchen on Wednesday. He was probably under the impression by then that Claudia locked me in my room all day and only let me out late at night, when everyone had sought shelter. I was wearing jeans and had ironed a white shirt. Just because.
“Shall I set the table?” I asked.
“That would be great,” said Claudia standing at the stove with her back to me.
It smelled of garlic and some Indian spice. Claudia was turning lamb chops in a pan and the fat sizzled. Dirk sat there silent and pale.
For a moment I tried to put myself in Claudia’s position. And I tried to imagine that Janne was there in Dirk’s place. I broke out in a sweat. I wasn’t sure whether to admire or pity Claudia now. Maybe it was a mistake to start mixing with people again tonight of all nights.
“Am I in the way?” I put large flat plates on the table.
“Don’t be silly, we’re happy to have you,” Claudia answered mechanically. Dirk nodded in agreement several times.
Claudia carried the pan to the table, set it down, and kissed Dirk quickly on the cheek. I looked away.
They looked a bit ridiculous together. Given the chance, I realized I hadn’t really looked carefully at Claudia in a long time. A few years before she had seemed noticeably more cheerful. Now, with her heavy eyelids and square chin, she reminded me of an ostrich. The lines in her face were really pronounced since she’d lost weight. Though she did have a super physique as a result. Her skirts seemed to keep getting shorter, and construction workers and taxi drivers regularly whistled at her well-toned legs.
“What happened there?” Claudia asked.
“Hm?”
She waved the spatula at my head.
“Johanna cut my hair,” I said.
“Did you lose a bet?”
I felt the sides of my mouth tighten. But laughing still kind of hurt, especially when you tried not to. “I asked her to. So people wouldn’t be so scared of me anymore.”
“Nice,” said Claudia flatly.
“Yeah, well,” I said. “I actually think I would have been better off doing it myself.”
She nodded and sat down. Dirk looked even younger sitting next to Claudia. His head was covered in light-colored fluff and as we ate I couldn’t stop looking at his Adam’s apple, which looked huge against his thin neck. With every mouthful it went up and down like a mouse struggling in a snake’s throat. Since I had my sunglasses on I could stare at Dirk as much as I wanted.
“What is it you do again?” I asked.
He put his fork down on the edge of the plate and folded his hands. He was a lawyer like Claudia, he said.
“Where’s your office? Do you have any chronic diseases? Are you married?” I
Kathleen Fuller, Beth Wiseman, Kelly Long