through it with her man, Mama with Daddy, and my mom with my father. If I donât know anything else, I know not to give my power to a man, and it starts by never letting them in my head to begin with. I may wear my heart on my sleeve, but my crown is mine to hold on to and so is all of the power that comes along with it.
3
Hair
âThink about it, take some time and put your eyes together/
We can make this thing right because I donât want no other.â
âJANET JACKSON FT. MISSY ELLIOT
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âW hat was that all about earlier?â Jeremy asks as we make our way down the 405 freeway toward the beach. Tonight weâre going to Huntington Beach for the Christmas Eve bonfire. Itâs been a long time since Iâve been to Orange County to hang out. The last time was when I was at Family Christian with Rah, Nigel, and the rest of our crew, and it wasnât anything like this nightâs going to be. I donât know any black people who surf, especially not at night. Noticing me messing with my ponytail, Jeremy lets out a slight laugh. âWhatâs wrong with you?â
âMy hairâs being testy,â I say, looking in the passengerâs mirror and attempting to slick down my wayward strands, which is more like a big bush at the moment. I knew I shouldâve braided my hair, but I couldnât find a moment to do it. Now itâs going to be frizzy from being by the beach all day and night. Oh well. This Christmas Iâll just rock the natural look all the way and Iâm already knowing itâll be much to my dadâs disapproval. Heâll just have to live with it because Iâll be damned if I stay up to do my hair tonight. Itâs already after nine, and I know weâre in for a long night.
âI think it looks sexy.â Jeremy and his blue eyes are trying to get me in trouble tonight and Iâm not having it. Rahâs already steaming and thereâs no need in making that pot boil over. But then again, what he doesnât know wonât hurt him.
âI like it when your hairâs bushy, too,â I say, running my fingers through his thick, wavy curls. If I didnât know better, Iâd say Jeremy had a little black in his family. Who knows; maybe he does somewhere down the line.
âOkay, so are you going to continue to ignore my question or tell me what that was all about with Rah?â I look at Jeremy carefully eyeing the road and canât help but wonder how far he thinks our friendship can really go. With Rah and me, I know our only limitation is us. But with Jeremy and his family issues, our limitations are more external.
âThat was Rah being Rah,â I say, trying to avoid the whole truth. Jeremy might be a little hot if I tell him that Rah was my first invite and I accepted his invitation by default. âBesides, what difference does it make? Iâm with you right now and thatâs all that matters.â Did I just say that? I sound too much like a pimp. A vision of Maman and Jon Paul pops into my head, reminding me to be cool. I just saw firsthand what kind of trouble big pimping can get a sistah into.
âWhatever, Jayd. Just let me know if Iâm stepping on anyoneâs toes.â Jeremy exits the freeway right by a huge mall where thereâs no parking at all. Itâs always packed on Christmas Eve. Personally, I like to catch the after-Christmas sales. Usually Nellie, Mickey, and I would hit up the malls and stay until we couldnât take it anymore. But this year it looks like itâll just be Mickey and me. I have missed hanging with Nellieâs bougie ass. I hope she comes to her senses one day because I would hate for her to end up on my permanent shit list, like Misty.
âYouâll be the first to know,â I say, readjusting my momâs wrap across my shoulders. Luckily I still had a few clothes at Mamaâs and was able to change out of my inherited