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of them wants to work that hard.”
    “Oh.” So Simon just wants me to join because he’s desperate?And he knows I have free time because I have no life? I don’t want to say no to Simon right away, though. He’s one of the few people who treat me like a human being. “Can I think about it?”
    “Oh, for sure. No pressure.”
    Why do people say “no pressure”? It’s like as soon as they say it I feel all this pressure.
    “If you could let me know by next week that would be great,” Simon adds. “I really need to find a replacement soon.”
    “Thanks for the offer.”
    “Thanks for thinking about it.” Simon smiles, all confident. Like he could go up to anyone and say anything to them. That must be an awesome feeling.

five
friday, april 15
(45 days left)
    I’m going out with Matt Brennan tonight.
    No more sneaking off during study hall.
    No more hooking up on the DL.
    No more keeping our relationship a secret.
    After tonight, everyone will know we’re together. The last thing anyone wants to do is piss off Matt. And of course Matt will want to protect me. So everyone will stop tormenting me. Including Carly. She rolls with his crowd. Which may be awkward when I start hanging out with his friends, but I’m sure I’ll find a way to avoid her.
    I cannot wait for my life to get easier.

    Every time I open my locker, I see all these cool things I taped up. Pictures of me and Sherae. A mini mobile with shapes in primary colors. A postcard of
Bird in Space
. The first cootie catcher Sherae and I made this year.
    But when I open my locker this time, all those things are ripped into tiny pieces and scattered over my books.
    Awesome.
    There’s no way I’m going to let my frustration show. Carly is watching from down the hall. I’m sure she’s loving this. She can’t wait for a reaction.
    I’m not going to give her one.
    Carefully keeping my expression unchanged, I take what I need out of my locker. Some bits of ripped pictures fall to the floor. I leave them there. I refuse to give her the satisfaction of seeing me pick them up. How did she even get my combination?
    Whatever. I’m going out with Matt tonight. I just need to keep focusing on how being his official girlfriend will make all of this go away.
    I’m actually smiling when I close my locker.

    Sherae and I have this thing where we meet up at her locker before second period. It’s tradition.
    “Things are looking up,” Sherae reports. “No pathetic note from Hector today. And he finally stopped leaving me messages.”
    “Ooh, that
is
an improvement,” I agree.
    “Plus! You know that heinous English test I’ve been stressing? It got postponed!”
    “Sweet!”
    “Okay. You’ve been smiling since you got here. What’s up?”
    “Nothing. Why do you think something’s up?”
    “Please. Since when are you happy at school?”
    “I’m not.”
    “We’re not leaving until you tell me.”
    I desperately want to tell her about Matt. I
have
to tell her about Matt. Everyone’s going to know we’re together after tonight anyway. And I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time.
    “I have a date,” I announce.
    “Oh my god!” Sherae gasps. “With who?”
    “Matt Brennan.”
    “You know Matt Brennan?”
    “We’ve been …” The bell for second period rings. “It’s a really long story. I’ll tell you later.”
    We branch off in separate directions. It’s not until I’m at my desk in English that I realize I didn’t tell Sherae not to tell anyone about Matt. But of course she won’t. That’s why she’s the only person in the whole world I can trust.

    Getting ready for my date with Matt makes it glaringly obvious that I’m in desperate need of a shopping trip with Sherae. Why didn’t I ask her to go to the mall this week? I could have gotten a cute top that actually fits. It might be time to rethink this whole baggy look.
    This date is already a disaster and I haven’t even left my apartment yet.
    Sherae drove