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me home after school and I told her all about Matt. She was not liking our secret status. But I said that not all boyfriends operate on the same schedule. Matt just needed more time. I explained how everything will be out in the open after we’re seen together at the mall tonight.
    There’s no way I was letting Matt pick me up here. He’d probably want to come in. That was not happening. So we’re supposed to meet outside Friendly’s. Taking the train is my only way to get to the mall. The good news is that the mall is like half a mile from the train station. And there’s a back way I can walk between them so no one will know I took the train to get there. Sherae said she’d drive me, but that would be lame.
    I write a quick note saying I went to the mall with Sherae. Then I leave before mother can get home and ruin date night with her toxic negative energy. I’m excited just to be going somewhere. Unless I’m hanging out with Sherae after school, I never go anywhere. And even then we pretty much only do stuff before dinner. This is the first time I’ve been out at night in forever.
    When I get to the mall, I walk the long way across the parking lot. This makes it look like I drove here and I’m just coming in from my parking spot. No one takes the train to the mall. No one walks half a mile.
    I sit on the bench outside Friendly’s and wait. The mall is a world that never changes. No matter what’s going on outside, you can always rely on the same overplayed music, bad lighting, and irritated shoppers inside.
    Waiting for someone shouldn’t be hard. All you have to do is sit there. But it’s actually one of the hardest things. When you’re sitting by yourself at the mall, you might as well be wearing a flashing neon sign that says LOSER . I try to make it as obvious as possible that I’m waiting for someone. I exaggerate the motions of looking around. I check the time by throwing an exasperated glare at the big clock on the center island. I want anyone who might be watching or passing by my bench to know that alone is just my temporary state. There’s a person who wants to be with me. A person who will be here any minute.
    Five minutes of waiting turns into ten.
    Then twenty.
    Half an hour later, Matt still isn’t here.
    He said Friendly’s, right? Did he mean somewhere else?
    Matt is thirty-seven minutes late when the worst thing ever happens. A group of kids grabs a window booth at the Olive Garden across from Friendly’s.
    Of course they’re kids from school.
    Of course Warner Talbot is one of them.
    There has to be a way to hide. The second they look over here, they’ll totally see me. Alone on a bench outside Friendly’s on a Friday night. Waiting for my secret boyfriend who’s almost forty minutes late.
    I concentrate on the polished floor. People’s shoes walk by. If I don’t look up, maybe Warner and those guys won’t notice me.
    A loud popping noise makes me jump. I turn to see what it was. There’s a minor commotion at the candy stand over a bigballoon popping. From his booth at the Olive Garden, Warner sees me through the window. His eyes get big. His mouth opens wide. Then he’s saying something to his friends and gesturing out the window.
    They all turn to look at me. They see me see them.
    One of them says something.
    They all laugh.
    I check the time. Matt is forty-five minutes late.
    Maybe something happened. Maybe he was in an accident. He could be in the hospital right now. There’s no way for me to know because I don’t have a cell phone. I’m not about to call him on the pay phone with everyone watching. Or maybe there was some other emergency. He could come bursting in any second now, saying he’s sorry and explaining everything and feeling horrible that I had to wait so long.
    Or not.
    I wait for over an hour. Shoppers filter on and off of the center island, taking breaks on the benches. They check their devices. They make calls. These two girls have been staring at me.