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his dishes near the sink, Ben opened the stair door, letting it shut behind him as he took the steps two at a time. Inside his room, he lit the kerosene lamp and rummaged around his dresser drawer for Katie’s picture, taken when she’d needed a photograph for her passport. He’d left it here somewhere before his arrest—hidden under a stack of pants, he thought. And there would have been no reason for Mamm to open this drawer, much less find the picture. But if Mamm had, the picture would no doubt be destroyed. Mamm wouldn’t allow a photograph of anyone in the house. That was the Amish way because it was considered vanity, and that was strictly forbidden.
    Ben’s fingers found the thin piece of paper. He pulled it out and lifted it to the flickering light of the lamp. Katie’s face looked back at him, her eyes shining with love. He remembered leaning over the photographer’s shoulder that day to distract Katie as the woman took the picture. Those days seemed like years ago, the joy lost in the pain of his jail time. Destroyed because of what he’d done. Oh how he’d loved Katie—and she him! He was sure of it. Katie wasn’t one to fake such things. That was no doubt why Katie was going on so well with her life…like he’d never even existed. That was the way she would go about things. Honestlyand without thought to appearances. Not that anyone blamed Katie for loving him, especially since she’d joined the church and made peace with Da Hah and the community.
    Ben laid the picture down with a sigh. He had no one to blame but himself. And now Katie would be sitting beside Norman on Sunday night. Norman, the shy, awkward guy. So unlike me, Ben thought. Was that what attracted Katie to Norman? She now wanted someone who was the opposite of his daring ways? Not that he could blame Katie for that either. Look how he’d turned out—a total disgrace to his family and the community. Walking to the window, Ben looked out at the barn and the road that lay on the other side of it. Lights from an Englisha automobile moved toward the north, having just passed the house. He watched the lights go, momentarily distracted from his troubled thoughts.
    Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw a flicker of light beside the barn. Just a brief flash, but it shouldn’t have been there. Moments later it came on again then blinked off. Someone was outside. Perhaps Daett was checking on some last minute chores. But it couldn’t be Daett . He’d be in the living room for evening devotions by now. Ben stayed by the window until a single beam found the house. It lasted only a moment. Someone was searching for something, and Ben was now sure it wasn’t anyone in his family.
    Rogge’s threats echoed in Ben’s mind. Was he imagining things even as fear pounded through his veins? His family shouldn’t be placed in danger because of him. He needed to face whoever was out there. Slipping out of the room, Ben crept down the stairs. Everyone was seated around the living room when he appeared. They looked up with pleased expressions on their faces, thinking he was joining them for devotions.
    â€œI’m sorry,” he told them, “but I think someone is outside by the barn. I’m going to check.”
    â€œThere’s someone out there?” Daett was already standing.
    Ben held up his hand. “There were threats made against me in court and in jail. I don’t want you to go outside until I’ve checked to make sure everything is okay.”
    â€œThreats?” Mamm asked, her face turning white.
    â€œI will go with you.” Daett stepped toward him. “ Da Hah will protect us.”
    Ben forced himself to smile. “ Yah , I hope so. You don’t have to worry, Daett . I won’t do anyone any harm. I didn’t learn how to hurt people while I was in the Englisha jail.”
    Concern didn’t leave his daett ’s face.