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feeling well. He rolled over on his back, moaning and groaning. “Ooooh,” he wailed, “ooooh, what have I done? My poor, aching stomach.”
    “Well, no wonder. You weren’t supposed to eat the tin-foil plates, too, Dippy. That isn’t even civilized.”
    “But I’m not civilized. I’m just a prehistoric slob. Ooooh,” he moaned again. “Ooooh, now I understand how my unhappy ancestors disappeared. It wasn’t because we were airheads or there was a meteorite shower. There must have been somebody running a prehistoric pizza parlor back in the old swamp. Oooooh me, ooooh my!”
    “Stop it, Dippy. You’re giving me a pain.”
    “I’m never going to find a nice girl
Diplodocus
in the Rockies of B.C. I’m going to die right here. A poor, homeless orphan dinosaur. The last of a noble line.”
    “Why don’t you try to walk it off, Dippy?”
    Dippy rolled onto his feet, still groaning, and began to walk about in circles, his head hanging low. But he had not yet properly digested the tin-foil plates. Each time he took a step it sounded like a hundred tin cans were being kicked downhill. Jacob Two-Two heldhis ears. “Dippy, they can hear you miles away. Stop. Sit down.”
    Dippy sat down. Clunk, clunk, clunk. But the next minute he was burping all over the place, his hot breath uprooting trees and sending them flying. “Oooh,” he moaned. “Poor me. Poor little me.”
    “I’ll tell you what,” Jacob Two-Two said. “We’ll try a song. Maybe that will help take your mind off things.”
    Together they sang:
    “
Daisy
(
burp
,
burp
),
Daisy
(
belch
,
belch
),
Give me your answer
,
do
(
burp
,
belch
) …”
    And so on, far into the night.

CHAPTER 14
    flood of fascinating information began to pour into the Dragon-Slayer’s camp, which lay only four miles away. The information came from Banff, not quite in B.C., but certainly in the Rocky Mountains. A pizza parlor owner called to say a kid who looked just like CANADA ’ S MOST DANGEROUS DESPERADO had been in earlier for a takeout order of fifty L’ Abbondanza pizzas. The man said he wouldn’t have served him, but the kid was carrying a machine gun and had twelve hand grenades hanging from his belt. Next, the deliveryman explained how, held at gunpoint, he had delivered the pizzas to aremote part of the highway. “There was a big green boulder out there with red eyes,” he said.
    “Get that cuckoo off the phone,” Wacko said. “Scientifically speaking, there is no such thing as a boulder with red eyes.”
    Then a reporter got on the phone to Bailey to say the town had just been hit by a fierce wind filled with flying trees.
    “So Banff’s been hit by another windstorm. Big deal.”
    “Yeah,” Bailey said, “but this particular one stinks of garlic sausage, green peppers, olives, and cheese.”
    “Just like L’ Abbondanza pizzas,” Perry Pleaser said, licking his lips. “Hey, let’s order up some.”
    Yes, said the yes men, rubbing their stomachs, and yes, said the yes women, rubbing their stomachs, too.
    “Wait,” Wacko said. “Let me think. Kid like Jacob Two-Two in pizza parlor. Green moving boulder with red eyes. Flying trees. Wind that stinks of garlic sausage. There has to be a connection there somewhere. Let me feed the information into my computer …”
    Which was when the singing in the distance started.
    “
Daisy
(
burp
,
burp
),
Daisy
(
belch
,
belch
),
Give me your answer
,
do
(
burp
,
belch
) …”
    Next thing they knew, the Dragon-Slayer’s camp was being bombarded by flying trees.
    “Just what I’ve been waiting for,” Wacko said.
    “Wh-wh-wh-what do you mean?” Pleaser asked, his knees knocking.
    “I’ve tricked them into revealing their position.”
    “When do we attack?” a general asked impatiently.
    Wacko yanked a twenty-foot-long sheet out of his computer. “We have researched some of the most famous military decisions in history. We know the precise hour the siege of Troy began, the very moment Hannibal