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is so important. If you know you haven’t showered for a week or two—Yow!—your stink is pretty much going to be traveling with you. So maybe you might not want to get into a closed elevator. Unless you’re an asshole. Because assholes will be stinky and get in the elevator with you.
    But at least that elevator ride will be over eventually. Here’s what’s tough. What’s tough is when you have to work all day around someone with bad hygiene. But, truth be told, you don’t have to.
    What’s that, Whoopi, I don’t?
    No, you don’t. If you work with someone who is chronically stinky, you can fix it. And the way to fix it is to tell them. They may not know. Why not sit them down and say, “You have an unusual smell. And I’m curious about it. Because I’m not sure if I can handle it or not.” As opposed to being uncomfortable . . . on the brink of gagging every time the person comes around . . . and so what do you do? You stay away from them and they think you don’t like them. And once you begin talking—and, dare I say, clear the air—in the long run, it becomes one less thing making your day bad.
    I know, I know, some people feel uncomfortable about this. It’s a tough line to cross ’cause it’s so personal. But listen, it’s only personal if they’re home. If you’re sharing a space with them every day at work, it is no longer a personal matter. You can ask that question. You don’t need to do it in front of everybody. And, yes, maybe it will make them uncomfortable, but, you know what? Maybe it will actually help them.
    The real question is to you.
    If it’s really a problem for you, ask yourself, how much do you want to change it? Can you live with it? Do you want to , or have to ? And if they’re a nice . . . albeit fragrant person . . . and somebody you’d like to be friends with, you’re going to have to work this out. You’re going to have to say something. Very gently and not in a bad way. Try something like, “Listen, this is really hard for me to ask you. But I have to because I really would like to have a better relationship or a friendship or spend some more time with you. But I have this question for you.”
    It’s the only way. Or live with it .
    Now. If this person is your boss, unless the job market looks good and you have an updated résumé . . . or perhaps, you hold a very promising lottery ticket . . . you may want to get real good at holding your breath. Your call.
    It comes back to how bad do you want this to change? That’s really the only question you have to ask yourself. If it’s not worth it, don’t do it. If it’s worth it to you, and you can do it without being mean, I say go for it.

Chapter 16
Where Is the Respect?
    You should hear it inside my head. It’s like a press conference in there . . . Question about this. Question about that. Question about why I asked myself that last question. But I think, for me, the biggest question in the world these days is, why don’t people think before they act? I just dealt with this recently. The newspaper printed where I live. And it really pissed me off.
    Why would they do it?
    It’s nutty. That’s my home. Now, I’m sure those newspaper folks all have families. What if I just up and printed where their family lives? Where their kids go to school? Where they hide the key when they go away on vacation?
    So, note to newspaper editor: How pathetic is it that my private information is the best news you can come up with?
    What possesses somebody to print someone else’s private information? When did an address become newsworthy? I haven’t shot anybody, haven’t killed anybody, I’m just on TV. I make movies. I make pizza. Does that make me less of a person on the planet?
    NO!
    (Thank you all for that response.)
    Something like this could happen to anybody. It could be happening to you right now. Do you really believe you have to be famous to win the invasion-of-privacy lottery? Think again. Office gossip about