Instead of going to the symphony to listen to the last ten seconds of music, you go to listen to the entire performance. You hear and feel each note and combina- tion of instruments, and you especially pay attention to the opening sounds, which enrich your mind after stimulating your ears.
The genitals of both men and women contain a lot of nerve endings. They can feel the air; they can even feel a hand that is held just above them without touching the skin. They can feel heat and cold. They are highly sensitive, and with practice and attention they become even more receptive and responsive. Combined with a willing mind, they can eagerly anticipate and easily feel.
Every sensual experience is different. The more positive a person’s past ex- periences, the easier he or she will find it to be pleasured the next time. It isn’t
necessary to try to repeat the same experience each time out; in fact, doing so can produce problems, like comparing the present moment to a memory, which causes one’s awareness to be focused on judging instead of feeling the stroke at hand.
We have observed that the most difficult part of having an instant orgasm is the first step: embracing the concept itself. People are so used to waiting for climax that even when they feel pleasurable sensations on the first stroke, they do not think they are in orgasm. They assume orgasm has to be something equivalent to male ejaculation. We have written about this natural ability in our other books, yet some who have read them did not get the concept. They still thought they had to wait to feel orgasmic pleasure. Once they do get it, es- pecially our women students, they take off. They love it that there is no place they have to get to, that it is all about what is going on right now. It is so liberat- ing to tap into a potential that before had lain dormant. There it is on the first stroke, or even before. You don’t have to get anywhere—just feel it right now, right there on the clitoris. Most of our students feel it when we merely say the words, “Feel your clitoris.” To watch a woman remember her power, to see her turn on and light up just for the fun of doing so, is a thrilling experience.
Y Another Difference Between Z
Women and Men
We have had female students read their erotic journals to us. Vera, who is easy to turn on, would often feel the words in her genitals. We have found that women in general are more influenced by words, whether spoken or writ- ten, than men are. This is why many women like romance novels and most men just don’t get them. Many men are visually stimulated, so viewing an erotic pose could perhaps do the same for them. When our students read
their journals aloud I would report that the turn-on did not reach me. They would reread the same sentences with more feeling in their genitals, and then I could pick up the sensation in my loins. This was a huge “aha” moment for
the women in the group, for now they realized that all they had to do was feel the pleasure themselves and the man would also be able to feel it. Vera, or any other woman who is aware of her innate ability, could turn herself on with the
erotic words. It didn’t even matter if the student wasn’t feeling it. This shows how important it is for men to learn how to speak and write in ways that will be appreciated by women, and for women to realize that the way they feel can have a powerful effect on men (whether or not words are involved).
So a woman can instantly turn herself on whenever she decides to. Men cannot do so just by willing it. A man can use his mind and fantasize about something that turns him on, or he can use his visual receptors and look at pictures or videos that he finds stimulating. Some men can become confused about whether they are getting turned on by fantasizing or by the woman they are with. It is usually by the woman, but not always, and just because she is turning him on does not give him any “rights” to use his erection on