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an accident, but they were very vague on the details. And no… I wasn’t with him. They said he went off of the road somewhere near Hatcher’s Pass and ended up in the river. I don’t know any more than that… Just come by the store when I’m done.” I tried to mask the pain, but I knew Emily caught it.
    “Lizzy, how can you go to work?” She sounded alarmed.
    “I have to. Mrs. Kelly has a doctor’s appointment. Just come by and get me after, okay?”
    “Sure Lizzy. I’ll be there,” she said sympathetically.
    As soon as I hung up, the phone rang again. Thank God for caller ID. It was another acquaintance from school. I knew I’d be getting calls all morning, so I decided to turn off the ringer and let the answering machine take my messages. Michael’s parents had my cell number if they needed to get in touch with me.
    I stumbled about my cabin. My mind was in a fog, preoccupied with the many open-ended questions; questions I had no answers to. I didn’t feel like taking a shower, but the thought of hot water running over my head sounded too tempting. I couldn’t stop thinking of Michael, and every time I did, I wept. I was a mess, and couldn’t seem to pull myself from the quicksand of sadness that surrounded me. I curled up on the floor of my shower and let the hot water pound on top of me. It didn’t make me feel any better, and after a while, I finally mustered up enough strength to drag myself out.
    I rummaged through my drawers throwing on jeans, a white t-shirt, and a Wasilla High hoodie. I didn’t feel like putting on any make-up, but as soon as I saw my reflection, I knew I desperately needed some. At least to look somewhat normal.
    I dropped Visine into each red eye, dabbed cover-up over every blemished area, and on the tip of my red nose, used some eyeliner, and gathered my hair up into a messy pony-tail. I didn’t want to go out today, and definitely didn’t want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to be alone. But what I really wanted to do was find Tyler, and see if he could provide me with any answers.

Chapter 4
     

    The chilled wind bit my face as soon as I stepped out the front door. The thermometer hanging from the side of the cottage read six-degrees. I shivered, pulling the hoodie over my damp hair.
    I jumped in my jeep which was now a freezer box, and turned it on. The Jeep roared to life, so I quickly turned the heater up to its max. The water bottle I’d left in from the other day was now a solid block of ice. I felt like I was being put into a cryogenic state as the below-freezing air blew at me. I shivered to my core, debating whether to run back in and grab my thicker jacket, but the mere thought of getting out of the jeep, unlocking the door, grabbing my jacket, and so forth… not gonna happen. Instead, I put the car in drive and headed towards the store.
    The day was its usual, dark and foggy – picture perfect of my internal feelings. I wondered how I’d ever get through this gloomy, depressing weather. If it snowed it wouldn’t be so bad, but then there were too many wonderful memories that I had with Michael in the snow. It was a lose-lose situation, anyway I looked at it.
    I finally reached the store, just as my heater started to blow signs of warm air. Figures. I pulled into the small lot, barely lit by a single flickering light-post, and parked in one of the six empty stalls. I glanced at the time and realized that I was a half-hour early.
    I couldn’t help but think of Michael. It would be impossible to suppress the overwhelming feelings I had inside, but I had to try, at least until I finished my shift. I tucked the Visine into my pocket for added assistance.
    As a child, I’d become accustomed to shutting my feelings off. My young heart had grown a thin protective layer around it; a callous to guard from the pain. It helped me to function through the many stresses I’d had to deal with. But through the years, Michael helped me peel away the hardened layers, so