golden bangle lies on a bed of red satin. Each end of the bangle forms a curved serpent head, with tiny eyes of inlaid ruby.
Kali gasps, a sharp pinprick of sound.
My throat tightens.
âMy grandmother gave this to my mother,â Auntie says, âwho gave it to me. Now itâs yours.â Her voice grows husky.
Ma wipes a tear from her cheek. Her lips tremble.
âNo, you mustnât. Auntieââ Silly me. Iâm choked with emotion. âYou should give this to Durga. Sheâs already married.â
â
Acha
, Iâve already given. This bangle is reserved for the
eldest
daughter.â She removes the bracelet from its satin bed and slips it onto my wrist. The cold metal sends a shiver up my arm. The gecko crawls closer until I can see the tiny bumps on its scaly skin.
âAh, lovely,â Ma says. âGold suits you.â
âFits,â says Kali. âYou have a narrow wrist. Mineâs too thick.â
âBeautiful, Auntie,â I say, âI donât deserve it. Please, keep the bangle for Kali.â
âI have other gifts for Kali,â Auntie says. âI insist you keep this. Family heirloom passed through the generations. It can only belong to you upon your engagement. As it belonged to me upon mine.â
âThank you, Auntie. Iâll cherish it forever.â
â
Acha
âour Lina, all grown up.â Auntie does the sideways head nod, and her face goes slack. She looks vulnerable, like a little girl. I picture her in a dress, running in the courtyard, pigtails flying out behind her. She was young and slim and carefree once.
Maâs fingers tremble as she opens her box. Inside, a gold brooch shines in the shape of a lotus leaf. âMy mother gave this to me. So now you have one gift from your great-aunt on your Babaâs side, one from me.â
Tears well up in my throat. âMa, I canât take it. Youâve had that brooch for years. You wore it to the wedding!â
âDonât argue.â She pins the brooch to my shirt, nearly impaling my breast. âOnly for you when youâre engaged.â
âMa, how can I thank you?â I envelop her in a tight hug. Her shoulders feel bony. How could my mother have become so small? So fragile? I let go of her and sit back against the headboard. How can I go on lying to her?
The gecko grips the bedpost now. Black eyes regard me with a fathomless gaze. The lizard knows the truth. Itâs just waiting for me to speak.
âIâm not really getting married,â I say.
â
Acha
, it must seem unreal,â Auntie says. âAfter all this time, to have actually foundââ
âYou donât understand. Iâm notâreallyâgetting married.â
Ma blows her nose into a Kleenex tissue. âDonât change your mind now. No getting cold feet. Not after weâve told everyone.â
âYouâve told everyone, already? But thereâs no fiancé. I made him up. I canât take your jewelry.â
Ma pats my cheek. âEngagement can be overwhelming, but youâll adjust, nah? Take one step at a time.â
The golden brooch reflects the light, throwing an elongated triangle of white across the wall. The gecko is gone.
Kali drapes her arm around my shoulders. âYouâve always denied yourself true happiness, Lina. You were always taking care of your two younger sisters. Now Iâm telling you, donât turn your back on bliss. You deserve it.â
Ma, Auntie, and Kali bathe me in their joy and tears, and Iâm happy and miserable at the same time. They think all is right with the world. Iâm a charlatan, the Great Pretender.
The ruby serpent eyes glitter on my wrist. I half expect the creature to come to life and flick out its tongue. The gecko has disappeared, and the snake has taken its place, as vivid as the lie I told.
Five
I
wake up sweating. My nightshirt is soaked. The mosquito net