Imaginary Men

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Book: Read Imaginary Men for Free Online
Authors: Anjali Banerjee
golden bangle lies on a bed of red satin. Each end of the bangle forms a curved serpent head, with tiny eyes of inlaid ruby.
    Kali gasps, a sharp pinprick of sound.
    My throat tightens.
    â€œMy grandmother gave this to my mother,” Auntie says, “who gave it to me. Now it’s yours.” Her voice grows husky.
    Ma wipes a tear from her cheek. Her lips tremble.
    â€œNo, you mustn’t. Auntie—” Silly me. I’m choked with emotion. “You should give this to Durga. She’s already married.”
    â€œ
Acha
, I’ve already given. This bangle is reserved for the
eldest
daughter.” She removes the bracelet from its satin bed and slips it onto my wrist. The cold metal sends a shiver up my arm. The gecko crawls closer until I can see the tiny bumps on its scaly skin.
    â€œAh, lovely,” Ma says. “Gold suits you.”
    â€œFits,” says Kali. “You have a narrow wrist. Mine’s too thick.”
    â€œBeautiful, Auntie,” I say, “I don’t deserve it. Please, keep the bangle for Kali.”
    â€œI have other gifts for Kali,” Auntie says. “I insist you keep this. Family heirloom passed through the generations. It can only belong to you upon your engagement. As it belonged to me upon mine.”
    â€œThank you, Auntie. I’ll cherish it forever.”
    â€œ
Acha
—our Lina, all grown up.” Auntie does the sideways head nod, and her face goes slack. She looks vulnerable, like a little girl. I picture her in a dress, running in the courtyard, pigtails flying out behind her. She was young and slim and carefree once.
    Ma’s fingers tremble as she opens her box. Inside, a gold brooch shines in the shape of a lotus leaf. “My mother gave this to me. So now you have one gift from your great-aunt on your Baba’s side, one from me.”
    Tears well up in my throat. “Ma, I can’t take it. You’ve had that brooch for years. You wore it to the wedding!”
    â€œDon’t argue.” She pins the brooch to my shirt, nearly impaling my breast. “Only for you when you’re engaged.”
    â€œMa, how can I thank you?” I envelop her in a tight hug. Her shoulders feel bony. How could my mother have become so small? So fragile? I let go of her and sit back against the headboard. How can I go on lying to her?
    The gecko grips the bedpost now. Black eyes regard me with a fathomless gaze. The lizard knows the truth. It’s just waiting for me to speak.
    â€œI’m not really getting married,” I say.
    â€œ
Acha
, it must seem unreal,” Auntie says. “After all this time, to have actually found—”
    â€œYou don’t understand. I’m not—really—getting married.”
    Ma blows her nose into a Kleenex tissue. “Don’t change your mind now. No getting cold feet. Not after we’ve told everyone.”
    â€œYou’ve told everyone, already? But there’s no fiancé. I made him up. I can’t take your jewelry.”
    Ma pats my cheek. “Engagement can be overwhelming, but you’ll adjust, nah? Take one step at a time.”
    The golden brooch reflects the light, throwing an elongated triangle of white across the wall. The gecko is gone.
    Kali drapes her arm around my shoulders. “You’ve always denied yourself true happiness, Lina. You were always taking care of your two younger sisters. Now I’m telling you, don’t turn your back on bliss. You deserve it.”
    Ma, Auntie, and Kali bathe me in their joy and tears, and I’m happy and miserable at the same time. They think all is right with the world. I’m a charlatan, the Great Pretender.
    The ruby serpent eyes glitter on my wrist. I half expect the creature to come to life and flick out its tongue. The gecko has disappeared, and the snake has taken its place, as vivid as the lie I told.

Five
    I
wake up sweating. My nightshirt is soaked. The mosquito net

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