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"Complicated, how ?"
    "You know my lifestyle," I start and he nods.
He's the only one in the family who knows I like leather and my men
submissive in the bedroom. When he had the courage to come out of
his closet to me, I owed it to him to do the same.
    "Well," I sigh. Best just come on out with it.
"Sometimes, three works better than two."
    Joseph looks a bit hurt by that, and I think
he's worried about Saul. They used to spend hours playing games
together. "You've fallen in love with another man?"
    "Not like how you're thinking.
I love Austin, but I'm not in love with him. Austin's in love with Saul, though, but Saul's too
hung-up on me to see it. They're best friends, and I've seen lust
mixed in with the love in Saul's eyes when he looks at Austin. I
think, if it weren't for me, Saul and Austin would have a really
good thing."
    "So, Saul's what? Bisexual?"
    "He is, and I just think that maybe... God, I
don't know, Joey. Maybe I'm crazy."
    "Tori, you've been crazy since day one," he
jokes and I crack a smile. "You'd really be okay sharing Saul with
another man?"
    "I would. I know Saul loves me, but I know part
of his heart loves Austin, too. Austin and I love each other, it's
just not physical. Does that make any kinda sense?"
    "If I thought Alex wanted another man, I'd lose
it. I don't think I could share him like that, but I guess it's
different strokes for different folks. You've gotta do what makes
you happy, sweetie."
    My smile widens, because that's exactly what I
said to him the day we ended up in this same Dairy Queen parking
lot, eating ice cream while he told me he was gay. "I love you,
baby-boo."
    His long fingers curl around mine and squeeze.
"Love you too, Tori, and you know I've got your back when you're
ready to talk to Pops."
    "Ditto. Now, go move your ass and grab us some
vanilla cones."
    "Yes, ma'am," he winks as I chase him out the
car with a swat to his arm.
    In the silence that settles within the car as he
trots across the parking lot, my mind drifts back to Dallas. I
think I'm doing the right thing by forcing Austin and Saul to talk
to each other, but the controlling Mistress in me wishes I was
there, helping my boys figure out what they want. Austin needs to
own this, though, or he'll never get past his demons. Saul needs
grow up a bit and realize I can't be his entire world for the rest
of my life. It's too much for me to bear alone.
    As if my thoughts reach out and touch my boys
across the miles, my phone buzzes with unread messages as soon as I
click it off airplane mode. Reading Saul's pride-filled message
about how he 'figured out' Austin's problem gives me a new
headache. Guess I need to push a little harder on both of them.
Sending Saul a reply back, I offer a suggestion and hope to God it
works.
     
     

Austin
     
    I've managed to avoid Saul since our barn
meeting yesterday morning, which is good, because the itch I'm
feeling is becoming nearly impossible to endure. I feel like I'm
just gonna burst the next time I see him - break down and tell him
everything. I know that's what Victoria thinks I should do, but I
can't.
    I'm a damn coward, and I know
it. That's why I'm freezing my cojones off in the barn instead of hanging decorations inside where
it's warm - where Saul is.
    I can't come out of my closet and confess my
love to Saul, because I love him too damn much. The vision of him
shooting me down rips me wide open. He loves Victoria with all his
heart. I don't see how there could be any room for me - not like
how I want.
    I know Saul's bisexual, and
I've caught him eying me with a tinge of lust in his eyes. I know
he's offered to have fun with me and another girl with Victoria. I
know he'd be open to fooling around at the club.
    I know all that - but I also know it aint what I
want.
    I don't want to have sex with
Saul any more than I want to have sex with Victoria. I want
to make love to that man. Anything
less would be hollow for me and something I'd regret. I'd rather
love him from a