saviors of families, villages, populations.
Woman’s adventure, woman’s mission.
The lone male looking at them was no bother.
But they hated
me
, a woman, seeing them.
They looked back at me, shot me with hate.
Turned to follow me with their eyes, hate
firing from their eyes. They hated me.
Hate-stares followed me though I walked
with the attitude that I was at home among my own
Asian sisters. In words, they’d be calling me
names. “You fucking bitch empress. You
make me clean your toilet. You make me sleep
in the toilet.” Though catching stinkeye,
a curling lip, a dissing shrug of shoulders,
I willed a kind and pleasant mien.
May you be happy, you be safe.
May you make much, much money.
May your children and family be happy and safe,
and you return home to them soon.
I must remind them of Madam, their Chinese employer.
But I don’t look like a Chinese matron.
I don’t dye my hair black. I’m not
wearing my gold and jade. They don’t know
I bought these clothes at the Goodwill.
I’m wearing shoes donated after the Big Fire.
They don’t know, most of my nieces and nephews
are Filipino, and 9 great-nieces
and great-nephews, Filipino Chinese
Americans. They don’t know me, I am like them,
my marriage like theirs. Wife works for money;
husband, employed or unemployed, has fun.
Son, too, has fun. Men know how
to play. Music. Sports. Theater. These women
don’t know, I work 2 jobs.
I moonlight, do the work-for-money
and
the writing. I wish I
had thought to be a stay-at-home mom.
(How interesting: The girl makes wishes for
the future. The eldress, for the past.)
I, too, send money to villages, the promise
made to family when leaving them. My BaBa,
who arrived in New York City when Lindberg
landed in Paris, vowed: I will not
forget you. I will always send money
home. The Pilipina maids see
me a lazy dowager, and hate me.
Crone. Witch. Aswang. Old woman
going about with long hair down
like a young woman’s, but white. Normal
in Berkeley, beautiful in Berkeley. And in the Philippines
I’m already in costume for Aswang Festival,
day before Hallowe’en, days after
my birthday. Come on, fête me and my season.
On the grass in a city park, our male traveller
feeling his lone hobo self, laid
his body down with backpack for pillow.
In San Francisco, it was 2 o’clock the night
before. Going west from California’s
shores, jumping forward in time, he’d arrived
at the house of maternity, the land of migrations.
Sleeping in public, jet-lagged, soul
not caught up with body, body
loose from soul, body trusted itself to
the grass, the ground, the earth, the good earth,
and rested in that state where dream is wake,
wake is dream. Conscious you are conscious.
Climb—fly—high and higher, and know:
Now / Always, all connects to all.
All that is is good. His ancestresses—
PoPo Grandma and Ma,
so long in America—are here, the Center.
Expired, Chinese people leave go of
cloudsouls that fly to this place.
Breathe, and be breathed. The air smells
of farawayness. Seas. Trash. Old
fish. The Chinese enjoy this smell,
fragrant, the
hong
in Hong Kong, Fragrant Harbor.
Yes, something large, dark, quiet,
receptive—Yin—is breathing, breathing me
as I am breathing her. My individual
mind, body, cloudsoul melds
with the Yin. Mother. I’m home. But
stir, and the Land of Women goes. Wittman
arose to bass drums of engines—multiple
pulses and earth-deep throbs. Forces
of rushing people. Monday morning go-
to-work people. The City. (The late riser
has missed the tai chi, the kung fu,
the chi kung. While he was sleeping, the artists
of the chi, mostly women, Chinese
women, were moving, dancing the air / the wind /
energy / life, and getting the world turning.
They’d segued from pose to pose—spread
white-crane wings, repulse monkey,
grasp bird by tail, high pat
on horse, stand like rooster on one leg,
snake-creep down, return to