Read How to Twist a Dragon's Tale (Hiccup) for Free Online
Authors: Cressida Cowell
little mess here," explained Humungous, waving a hand at the scene of scorched devastation and fiery chaos behind him. "They haven't been seen around these parts for centuries because their Eggs can only be hatched by the gases and lava given off by an exploding volcano. The Volcano on Lava-Lout Island has been grumbling away for a while now, getting ready for a really Massive Explosion, and when it does, all the Exterminator Eggs will hatch."
"So you're saying they were EXTERMINATORS that attacked us just now?" asked Hiccup.
"That's right, I'd say about six small ones, baby Exterminators, you know, they were quite sweet really," answered Humungous cheerily.
"And how many Exterminator Eggs are there left on Lava-Lout Island?" asked Hiccup.
77
LEARNING TO SPEAK DRAGONESE AT BEDTIME
Dragon: Toothless ava z-z-zuzzspook,
Toothless uptime SNIP-SNAP.
Toothless had a nightmare. Toothless get up RIGHT NOW.
You: (sleepily) May is di middling o di
Zuzztime!
But it's the middle of the night!
PAUSE
You (warningly): Na flicka-fiame di sieepysiab, Toothless, NA FLICKA-FLAME DI SLEEPY-SLAB! NA FLICKAFLAMEOH, Toothless!
Don't set fire to the bed, Toothless, DON'T SET FIRE TO THE BED! DON'T SET FIRE TO THE - OH , TOOTHLESS!
Dragon (delightedly): Hiccup izzup!
Hiccup izzup! Hiccup tickla wit-Toothless?
Hiccup is up! Hiccup is up! Will you play with me?
78
"Oh ... no more than about nine hundred thousand, I'd say," Humungous said, nodding.
"All of this reminds me, I am in a bit of a hurry to get out of here. I'm so sorry to leave ... you've all been so kind ... and if I were you, I'd leave too, and pretty quickly. You don't want to be around when they hatch."
"What are you talking about?" bellowed Stoick. "LEAVE? There's no question of leaving. This is our HOME. The Archipelago has been home to the Barbarians ever since Great Hairybottom, the First Barbarian of all, got off his ship and sank into the bog right up to his thigh ... He lost his boot on that occasion ... They never found it again ... And that was when he said those immortal words --"
"There will be barbarians in the Archipelago for as long as my boot is in that bog.'" Hiccup finished up the story, for he had heard it before. "Yes, Father, I know, Father, but AT THE TIME Great Hairybottom didn't have NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND Exterminator dragons about to fly down on the island and turn it into desert."
"That's not SO many," roared Stoick the Vast. "And they're only dragons, after all. We shall STAY, and we shall FIGHT! I shall bring it up at the meeting
79
of The Thing* which is in a week's time on Sun'sday Sunday, so that we can prepare to join together, and arm ourselves for the Battle to come.
"Oh how I wish your darling mother was with us now," sighed Stoick.
Hiccup's mother Valhallarama was a truly magnificent Warrior, but she was off Questing again.
"My little muscly sweetheart would CRUSH those Extermi-thingummys with one flick of her plaits," said Stoick.
"WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE BEACHES!" he yelled. "WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE BRACKEN. "WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THOSE BOGGY MARSHY BITS THAT ARE SO DIFFICULT TO WALK THROUGH WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SHOES! WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!"
And then he broke into a rousing rendition of "Rule Barbaria! Barbarians Rule the Waves," and every single Hooligan stood up straight and proud, and singing out the chorus at the top of their lungs while performing the Hooligan salute.
*The Thing was a meeting of all the local Tribes.
80
81
WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE BEACHES!
WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE BRACKEN!
WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THOSE BOGGY MARSHY BITS THAT ARE SO DIFFICULT TO LOSING YOUR SHOES!
WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
82
For a nation that spent a great deal of time fighting, burgling, and ransacking, the Hooligans were a surprisingly musical lot. It was a shock to hear these ruffianly characters open their mouths, and the proud words come ringing out, pure and true, in perfect tune with each other, and in deep and
"So you're saying they were EXTERMINATORS that attacked us just now?" asked Hiccup.
"That's right, I'd say about six small ones, baby Exterminators, you know, they were quite sweet really," answered Humungous cheerily.
"And how many Exterminator Eggs are there left on Lava-Lout Island?" asked Hiccup.
77
LEARNING TO SPEAK DRAGONESE AT BEDTIME
Dragon: Toothless ava z-z-zuzzspook,
Toothless uptime SNIP-SNAP.
Toothless had a nightmare. Toothless get up RIGHT NOW.
You: (sleepily) May is di middling o di
Zuzztime!
But it's the middle of the night!
PAUSE
You (warningly): Na flicka-fiame di sieepysiab, Toothless, NA FLICKA-FLAME DI SLEEPY-SLAB! NA FLICKAFLAMEOH, Toothless!
Don't set fire to the bed, Toothless, DON'T SET FIRE TO THE BED! DON'T SET FIRE TO THE - OH , TOOTHLESS!
Dragon (delightedly): Hiccup izzup!
Hiccup izzup! Hiccup tickla wit-Toothless?
Hiccup is up! Hiccup is up! Will you play with me?
78
"Oh ... no more than about nine hundred thousand, I'd say," Humungous said, nodding.
"All of this reminds me, I am in a bit of a hurry to get out of here. I'm so sorry to leave ... you've all been so kind ... and if I were you, I'd leave too, and pretty quickly. You don't want to be around when they hatch."
"What are you talking about?" bellowed Stoick. "LEAVE? There's no question of leaving. This is our HOME. The Archipelago has been home to the Barbarians ever since Great Hairybottom, the First Barbarian of all, got off his ship and sank into the bog right up to his thigh ... He lost his boot on that occasion ... They never found it again ... And that was when he said those immortal words --"
"There will be barbarians in the Archipelago for as long as my boot is in that bog.'" Hiccup finished up the story, for he had heard it before. "Yes, Father, I know, Father, but AT THE TIME Great Hairybottom didn't have NINE HUNDRED THOUSAND Exterminator dragons about to fly down on the island and turn it into desert."
"That's not SO many," roared Stoick the Vast. "And they're only dragons, after all. We shall STAY, and we shall FIGHT! I shall bring it up at the meeting
79
of The Thing* which is in a week's time on Sun'sday Sunday, so that we can prepare to join together, and arm ourselves for the Battle to come.
"Oh how I wish your darling mother was with us now," sighed Stoick.
Hiccup's mother Valhallarama was a truly magnificent Warrior, but she was off Questing again.
"My little muscly sweetheart would CRUSH those Extermi-thingummys with one flick of her plaits," said Stoick.
"WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE BEACHES!" he yelled. "WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE BRACKEN. "WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THOSE BOGGY MARSHY BITS THAT ARE SO DIFFICULT TO WALK THROUGH WITHOUT LOSING YOUR SHOES! WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!"
And then he broke into a rousing rendition of "Rule Barbaria! Barbarians Rule the Waves," and every single Hooligan stood up straight and proud, and singing out the chorus at the top of their lungs while performing the Hooligan salute.
*The Thing was a meeting of all the local Tribes.
80
81
WE WILL FIGHT THEM ON THE BEACHES!
WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THE BRACKEN!
WE WILL FIGHT THEM IN THOSE BOGGY MARSHY BITS THAT ARE SO DIFFICULT TO LOSING YOUR SHOES!
WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
82
For a nation that spent a great deal of time fighting, burgling, and ransacking, the Hooligans were a surprisingly musical lot. It was a shock to hear these ruffianly characters open their mouths, and the proud words come ringing out, pure and true, in perfect tune with each other, and in deep and
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