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conversation. “And I’m a little too old to be a tender little flower.”
    “Fine. You’re an old over-thirty hag, is that better?” Jesse turns back to me. “But seriously, Cole, you’ll never be able to delete that night. Rod—”
    “Stop.” I don’t want to hear anyone say that man’s name again.
    “He did what he did to you. No amount of sex is going to take it away.”
    “I’m not trying to—”
    “You use your encounters with these guys to remind yourself you’re in control now. I get it. I mean, I got it way back when you first started doing it, but he is dead . He hurt you. You survived. You don’t have to prove that—”
    “I do. I do have to prove to myself that I’m in control. He took every good thing inside of me and for the past ten years, I’ve had to figure out how to get it back or recreate it.”
    “Know what will help?”
    I raise an eyebrow because I know he’ll tell me anyway.  
    “A relationship with an intelligent, thoughtful man who will explore all those deep, dark recesses of your mind with you. Like what you had with Oliver or Quin. Know what won’t help? Continuing to pretend that meaningless sexual experiences will cover the pain, or fill the void created by that horrible man. You’re better now, so stop acting like you’re still that wounded victim. You survived .”
    This is why I keep Jesse in my life. No matter how much I don’t want to hear his words, they burrow into me. And even though I tell him I won’t think about what he said, I know I will.

Chapter 3

    Devon

    I smile as I curl the script into my hands and tuck it into the back pocket of my jeans. I still can’t believe this is my life: workouts, table reads, and studio conferences. We are now in Boston, and the filming is about to begin.  
    I’m not shy, but I like to be alone more than I enjoy being surrounded by people and being the center of attention. I sometimes have a hard time connecting with new people, but the rest of my cast mates accepted me into the group easily. It’s refreshing to not have to push myself to interact with people I have just met. It just feels natural in this situation.
    While Liliana and I are the leads, the supporting cast is composed of young actors at the start of their careers as well, so I feel like we’re on equal footing. A couple of the guys are beefy, obviously gym fanatics, but it’s not like I feel out of place with them. Although I’ve been working out as a stipulation of my employment, I never liked lifting weights. But these guys aren’t vapid gym rats. They keep themselves fit in order to land roles and modeling gigs.
    And the ladies of the cast? They are so beautiful, but not intimidating. I can easily hang with them and not be stunned stupid by their looks, whereas every time I catch a glimpse of Cole, I feel that flutter inside my belly. I find it daunting to try to talk to her, as if her beauty threatens me in some way.
    But her assistant, Julie, is a different story. That woman has come on to me every time I’ve seen her, and now that we’re on location, I see her a lot. The production company has practically rented out a hotel for our use. We just finished a short read-through of tomorrow’s scenes—the first ones we’re shooting—and everyone has gone their separate ways, but I’m surprised Julie hasn’t followed her boss.
    Usually they’re inseparable, but today Cole just took off with her bodyguards in tow, which leaves Julie to tidy up the conference room.  
    “Don’t you think the hotel staff will do that?” I ask while she gathers up empty water bottles.  
    She looks up and gives me a half smile. “Probably.”
    Bent over like that, I can see her cleavage perfectly. Her breasts look perfect, and I wonder if her coming on to me has been an act. One thing I’ve learned in Hollywood is that everyone acts.  
    I decide to help her. “So if the hotel has people who’ll do this, why are you doing it?”
    “Because cleaning up