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height of bodily awareness. It’s an all-night exercise in worshipping each other in a way that is ancient and primal. There is no better way for two people to connect; to share. We’re contributing to each other’s supply of peace, calm, and harmony.”
    He laughs, the sound of it lightening my mood. “Damn, you’re a good actress, ‘cause that was a bunch of bull.”
    “Come shower with me,” I whisper. This time, when I tug, he follows.  

    I adjust my sunglasses, then pick up my cup of mocha from the table. Something about sitting outside at this little café makes me uncomfortable, though I know it’s good for me to be outside. I’m not agoraphobic, but being out in the open isn’t something I do much.
    Whenever I meet my friend, Jesse, he picks the venue, and it’s almost always outside.  
    We live in one of the best climates in the world, girl! Why sit around inside where no one can witness our fabulousness? he said once.
    He doesn’t carry the same burden of celebrity and fame as I do, even though he is an accomplished musician. In fact, he is my oldest friend since I met him back on the child dog and pony tour, otherwise known as the child musical phenom circuit. We played several concerts together, me on the piano and him on the violin.  
    Jesse is also an established documentarian. He was probably born with a camera attached to his hand. Indeed, he documented my recovery after what happened with Rodney Douglas years ago. While he promised he wasn’t going to sell it, when I was healthy and he showed me the edited footage, I couldn’t let him waste it, so I gave him permission to sell it if he wanted to. He still works on it in between other projects, though. I think he’s dragging his heels to see if I do anything else interesting enough to earn a place in the documentary. Honestly, it’s probably something he won’t sell until he feels it’s good and ready, and he won’t sell it to just any gossip show. He thinks of it as art.
    “Look at you! Outside in full view of the shutterbugs!”
    I turn at Jesse’s voice, stand to embrace him, then whisper in his ear. “This is going to make all the magazines.”
    “Won’t that make Terell jealous?”
    I should’ve known he would have that reaction. As we sit down, I ask about his boyfriend. “How is Terell?”
    “Talented, intellectual, spiritual, enthusiastic, sexy.”
    How could I not laugh at that?  
    “So what about you, Colebaby? You okay?”
    His question sobers me up quickly. I think about my failed interview yesterday and the sex with the guy from the club last night. I don’t even remember his name now. “Lonely.”
    “So when are you going to let yourself get another boyfriend? And by that, I’m asking when are you going to have someone around for more than your carnal desires.”
    “Carnal desires?” I take a sip of my mocha. “You’re so dramatic, Jesse. It’s sex; it’s not a clandestine, torrid affair.”
    “You mean a series of affairs, and don’t kid yourself, they’re torrid. I can’t imagine anything with you being tame.”
    I shift to my left and find about fifty photographers jockeying for a better position to shoot from across the busy street. “You make me sound like a dirty whore. Thanks.”
    “Please,” he says with exaggeration. “You know I don’t think that about you. Men go spreading their seed around the world and they’re heroes; it shouldn’t be any different for women. But you’re a tender little flower sometimes, and I just have to wonder if these men even serve a purpose.” Jesse readjusts himself and faces the cameras. He fixes his hair, raises his arm in a wave, and smiles widely.  
    “Don’t encourage them,” I say, trying my best not to look at the photogs. “Why don’t we trade lives for a while and you have those guys follow you around all the time?”
    “No thanks, I’ll just bask in the glory of being photographed for the moment.”  
    I return our more serious