Read Hold On - Part Three (The Hold On Series Book 3) for Free Online Page B

used to it. He’s usually so urgent and primal, now he’s touching me with care and tenderness and I don’t know how to respond. It’s all come too late, the complications of the situation making everything swirl in my head like a murky puddle of darkness.
    “What’s wrong?” he asks. “Isn’t this what you want?”
    The moon is lighting up his face and I chew on the corner of my lip as I stare up at him above me. “I love you Ethan, and I want you to love me, but the words aren’t enough anymore. All I hear is words, but I need something more.”
    “More than me wanting you?”
    “Yes, more than that.”
    He rolls off me and sits up on the bed. “Jesus Christ, Sarah. What do you want me to do? Get a fucking plane to skywrite my feelings? When will it be enough?”
    He’s angry. I know he is, but so am I. “It will be enough when I feel it’s enough. Right now everything is so messed up; I don’t know what’s real anymore.” It’s not fair that he’s treating me this way.
    Ethan moves closer to me and presses his forehead against mine. I watch his chest rise and fall as he struggles to control himself. “I’m sorry. I’ve fucked this all up. I’m not good at this relationship shit. It’s why things didn’t work out with Winona; she needed more from me than I was able to give.”
    “I know,” I whisper. It’s the reason I’m slipping away too.
    Alex appears at the door frame. “We have to go.”
    Ethan locks eyes with me. The intensity of his stare is binding me to him. “Stay and wait for me. We’ll work this out. I know we can make it, I promise I’ll do whatever it takes.”
    I used to think love was enough, now I know it’s only the beginning.
    We need more time to grow together. We both got into this too quickly and I fell too fast. The demons from our past relationships still haunt both of us.
    “Promise me, Sarah. Just stay here.”
    “I’ll stay,” I say it even though I can’t be sure it’s the best choice for me right now.
    Ethan is satisfied. He stands up and walks over to Alex before turning back to me one last time. I’m scared for him and I can feel the prickle of gooseflesh on my arm as he shuts the door as he leaves. I listen to their footsteps as they walk away from the building and I remember I’m alone again. The emptiness is not comforting.
    I glance down at the floor and notice his brown bag. I move off the bed and walk over to it, zipping open the top. The small black handgun is inside.
    I need to let him know that he’s forgotten it. I run over to the front door and throw it open, stepping onto the wooden porch but I can’t see either Ethan or Alex. They’ve gone and I don’t want to yell out for them and break the silence of the still night.
    As I walk back inside, I stare at the brown bag wondering what I should do about it. I can’t put it out on the porch, but I don’t want the gun anywhere near me either. I wonder if locking it into one of the cabinet drawers in the kitchen would make me feel better.
    That would mean I’d have to go over to it and touch the bag, and I don’t want to do that again. I keep my back to the wall as I maneuver around the room and back to the bed. If I close my eyes and can’t see it, perhaps I can pretend it’s not there.
    I reach the bed and lie down on the mattress and shut my eyes tight. It doesn’t take a second before I realize that it’s pointless, I’m never going to be able to relax and sleep while the gun is in the same room as me.
    I can’t see any solution where staying here is going to work, yet I promised Ethan I would wait until he got back. I made that promise before I knew I’d be sharing the room with a loaded weapon though.
    As I bolt upright on the bed and stare at the bag again I decide I’ll have to leave. I can write a note to Ethan and tell him that I couldn’t stay. I’ll give him Lauren’s address and he can come and get me after all this is over. Is leaving the bag alone in a locked