Read Hold On - Part Three (The Hold On Series Book 3) for Free Online Page A

girl who can separate her emotions from a physical relationship but I can’t. I wish I could be more like Lauren and have one night stands but it’s just not me. It’ll never be me. Even if the sex is as amazing as it is with Ethan, it won’t be enough.
    “I can’t stay here,” I say. I search for where I left my phone and see it glint on the small table near the bed. “I’m going to call Lauren to pick me up.”
    Ethan grabs for my hand. “No, Sarah. Please stay. Wait for me to come back. It’ll be over soon.”
    I turn my head sharply to him. “Over? It’ll never be over. She’ll follow you wherever you go. I will never be safe.”
    A flash of resentment crosses his face. “If we get a confession then she’ll go away for good. She’ll never get out.” I know he believes that. I wish it were true.
    “She won’t confess. The best you’ll get is suspicion. Alex already said he’s been following her for five months. She hasn’t slipped up once, and you think she’s going to now?” I almost laugh it’s so pointless. “I looked her up in the police database, you know.”
    He glances up at me with surprise. “You did?”
    I nod. “Yes.” I walk over to my phone and pick it up, playing with it in my hand. “I convinced Lauren to break into her office at the newspaper and look Lili up to see if there was anything I could use to get rid of her.”
    He raises an eyebrow. “I always knew you were resourceful.”
    “But there was nothing. Nothing that would cause a judge to lock her away forever.”
    I wonder if I should tell him that we looked him up too. I don’t need to. I can tell by the look on his face that he already knows we did.
    He stands up and walks over to the front window and stares outside. “You already knew about my past.”
    “I know.”
    “So this is it,” he says. “You want to end this between us?” It’s a leap for him to come to that conclusion. It’s usually me that is irrational, not Ethan. Ethan is usually solid as a rock yet it’s like our roles have been switched.
    “No,” I say truthfully. “I don’t want it to end. But if you don’t understand what I do want, then maybe it has to be that way.”
    I’m unsure where this sudden burst of strength has come from. Strangely, I feel calm and surer of myself than I ever have. I walk over to him. “Can you give me what I want?” I ask.
    “No.”
    “No.” I repeat as I sigh deeply. He just admitted to me that he can’t give me what I want, so it is over after all.
    “I can’t become the Danny substitute. You want the perfect relationship with a picket fence. I can’t give you that.”
    “What? The Danny substitute? Are you insane?” I’m suddenly furious that he thinks I want him to be anything like Danny. I can’t hold in my anger. My chest heaves with frustration and I want to run and get out of here. Instead I walk over to the bed and hit the mattress as hard as I can. I continue to pound into the bed until tears threaten to run down my cheeks.
    He flinches at my outburst but doesn’t stop me. “I’m not perfect, Sarah. Far from it. I can’t be the perfect boyfriend. All I can be is me.”
    “You idiot. You complete idiot. I don’t want Danny. I haven’t wanted Danny in forever. I want you, only you. The way you are now, I don’t want to change you.”
    He walks over and grabs my hands and brings them to his chest. He stares at me with a strange dark intensity. “Sarah, if I tell you I love you, are you going to believe me?”
    “Yes. If you tell me right now, I’ll believe you.”
    The tiny moment between us lasts forever as I wait for him to say the words. Just when I don’t think he’s going to, his lips part. A small bead of saliva links his top lip to his bottom. “I fucking love you, Sarah.”
     
     
     

Chapter 12
     
    I wanted Ethan to love me.
    Now that he does, I’m pulling away.
    His lips are soft as they touch mine. The gentleness of his kiss takes away my breath; I’m not