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with the difference that this time Annika was not standing at the bus stop, Stefan was not a stranger and he was not trying to save the situation.  This time it was deliberate.
     
    She was not afraid to die.  He had killed her already... She was already dead inside, so one more car accident would not hurt her more... At least that's what she thought back then...
     
    Destiny had brought them together, through spring rain and his car driving at her.  Now destiny was using the same tools - spring rain and the black car - to push them apart forever.

 
    11
     
    Annika opened her eyes and looked around.  There were blank white walls and a small window on her right through which the sun’s rays were coming into the room...  She was lying in a strange bed.
     
    After a few years of working in a hospital, she knew how they smelled and she immediately understood where she was.
     
    Her body and head ached.  Someone was holding her hand.  Her gaze followed her hand and landed on Stefan's face.  He was extremely pale, his hands were shaking and his eyes were full of tears.
     
    It took her a few minutes to recall the previous events and once they were back she pulled her hand out of his and turned her face away.  Instinctively she put her hand on her belly, as if trying to guess how the baby was doing.  She could not feel or know, but it was a nice try.
     
    That small action illustrated the priorities she had at the moment.  Since her past sat next to her, she intuitively tried to concentrate on the future.
     
    The door opened and a middle-aged man in a light blue gown entered the room.  He smiled at Annika and checked her forehead.
     
    “Welcome back,” he said.
     
    “Thanks,” she answered with a frozen voice.
     
    Stefan was very tense.  He felt the tension in the doctor's behavior and waited for the verdict.
     
    “You will be better in two weeks from now, but there is something I have to tell both of you.”
     
    Annika's breath stopped, she closed her eyes and tried to prepare for the worst.
     
    “You’ve lost the baby,” the doctor’s voice was very matter-of-fact.  It seemed as if he just needed to get it off his chest, do it fast and leave the room.  Maybe the man knew that whatever he said would not help and would only aggravate matters further.  So he had completed his mission and hurried out.
     
    Stefan was looking at the floor.  Annika started crying silently.  The tears rolled down her cheeks and she gave herself over completely to her grief.
     
    “Why didn't you tell me?” Stefan barely whispered.
     
    “Didn’t manage to catch you at the right moment.  You were either filling your veins or fucking other people,” Annika answered in an absent voice, without looking at him – more as if she was talking to herself than answering Stefan’s question.
     
    Stefan realised that she was right.  He’d never really seen the situation for what it was.  Now he felt a complete asshole...  He bent over Annika, kissed her lips and, feeling lost and empty, left the room.

 
    ****
     
    Annika spent a few days in hospital.  During those days Stefan did not come to visit her.  He sent her flowers and notes every day instead.  Annika gave the flowers to the nurses and burnt the notes without reading them.
     
    When she became strong enough and could go home, Annika went to reception and called her parents.  They came to pick her up few minutes later.  They were shocked and worried, even though they did not get to hear anything of what had really happened.  The version they bought was that Annika had broken up with Stefan and that she was walking, upset and not paying any attention, when she got knocked over by a drunk hit-and-run driver.  The mere fact that she was alive was reason enough not to dig deeper.  Now their little girl would be with them and they’d take care of her.
     
    After Annika returned home she spent most of her time crying in her room.  She was devastated and