Read Heteroflexibility for Free Online

only gays allowed?”
    “I don’t think so. THAT boy doesn’t look gay.” She pointed at a twenty-something with a mop of curly hair and biceps on his biceps.
    “How will I know what to say or do?” I asked. Paranoia began to mushroom. “What are you going to say to Mary and Jenna?”
    Suddenly it was too late. A cluster of red-uniformed women approached us from behind, catching up, one of them draping her arm around Fern. “It’s the hottie!” She tossed her dreadlocks as she whipped around to the team members behind us. “Blitz, get up here. You remember Fern, right?”
    We stopped walking. The woman holding on to Fern was tall, statuesque, and utterly beautiful, with model-perfect skin and dark, soulful eyes. She held out her hand to another woman, even taller, broad, and a bit menacing. My mind thought, butch! But then remembered the coffee shop. Shut up, brain. I clamped my lips together.
    “Krieg!” Fern said. “It’s been ages.”
    Mary pushed through them, spotting me. “Zest! You’re here too!” She enveloped me in a sweaty embrace. Fern let go of me, and I patted Mary awkwardly on the back. She pulled away. “I didn’t think you’d ever speak to us again! Jenna was such a bear!”
    Jenna approached, arms crossed. “At least I’m not a Republican.”
    “Stop acting like Hoebags!” A short girl with shiny black hair and smooth caramel skin pushed through the crowd. “Is this the photographer you political nut jobs pissed off?”
    I raised my eyebrows, refusing to break my silence even though I was quite taken aback. They thought they had wrecked it with ME?
    “Nikki!” Mary said. “You haven’t even registered to vote.”
    “Yeah, yeah.” Nikki grabbed me around the neck, pulling me down to rub her knuckles on my hat. “She’s noogie-proof!” she announced. “Damn it. Somebody remove this cap.”
    I stared at the many pairs of worn cleats and wondered what the hell I was doing here. I had no idea why this woman had me in a vise.
    Then suddenly, I was up again, Nikki right in my face. “You’re kinda easy prey, aren’t you? Don’t let the right winger and the Obama freak scare you. We need a photographer.”
    Krieg grasped Nikki by the shoulders and yanked her a couple steps back. “Give the girl some space.”
    “So what do you say?” Nikki asked. “Will you do it? We leave in three days.”
    I glanced over at Fern, who stood a few feet away. She nodded at me. I guessed that meant it was okay for me to talk. “Of course I’ll do it.”
    They let out a collective cheer, coming forward for hugs.
    Fern gave me a thumbs-up, then her expression froze on someone behind me.
    I turned to look. Another Hoebag. This one wore her polyester in a tailored fit, smooth and tapered from shoulders to hips. She shifted her softball glove back to her right hand and smoothed her hair in its perfect ponytail, a spunky curl coming off the back. I could already see the image of her, the clean sharp features would photograph well. Her figure would work divinely in silhouette.
    “Fancy seeing you here,” she said to Fern. She didn’t look pleased.
    “Had to help out my friend Zest,” Fern answered.
    I tried to listen in, but the Hoebags were all coming up to hug or high five me. Blitz and Krieg introduced themselves properly. Finally the new girl approached. She didn’t try to hug me, sticking out her hand for a shake instead. “I’m Audrey Two.” Her grip was firm, confident, and dry.
    “Right. Of Audrey and Audrey.”
    “Yes, my girlfriend is the first and best Audrey.” She pointed over to the stands. “She’s not an official Hoebag, just a fan. You can call me plain Aud instead. Most of them do, when they aren’t trying to be cute.”
    “How long have you and Audrey been together?” I asked.
    “Two years.” She smacked her hand into her glove. “I wasn’t much for making things official, but it’s what she wants. You know, the whole U-haul bit.” She glanced back at the