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bleachers. “And I like to give her what she wants.”
    U-hauls. I’d have to ask Fern about that later. “I think it’s great, all of you going together.”
    Nikki lunged forward, slinging an arm around Aud and mussing her hair. “If we don’t kill each other!” She tilted her head toward Fern. “I see Zest brought a babe. You ready for a threesome?”
    My mouth dropped open.
    A girl with short ringlet hair pushed Nikki away from Aud. “No recruiting the straight girls,” she said, then held out her hand. “I’m Bella. Supposedly Nikki’s bride. IF she deserves me.”
    “Aww. I’ll never deserve you. And the heteros are so fun to shock. You’re in for quite a ride in Cali,” Nikki said, laughing. She waved. “See ya later, Zest! You won’t be stuck here. They only give us one hour to play, and the winner is whoever’s ahead. Then I can teach you about strap ons.”
    I hoped she wasn’t serious.
    Bella threaded her arm through mine. “I’ll take you to the stands.”
    We weaved through the other teams, many of them moving toward the fields. “You don’t play?” I asked.
    “Oh, I do, but we rotate in and out.” She tugged her shorts down over her broad pale thighs as we sat on the metal stands, no doubt self-conscious next to Fern. Everyone felt secondary to Fern’s movie star looks. I had gotten used to it.
    Bella pointed to a petite brunette next to her. “This is Audrey.”
    “Audrey’s Audrey?” I asked.
    “I am.” The woman extended her hand, reaching over a white Pomeranian in her lap.
    “I guess I’ll be taking your picture,” I said.
    “Oh, good. We hoped we could convince you to go.” She petted the dog.
    “Who’s this?” Fern asked, patting the dog’s head. Fern hated animals, but now she moved in close, overly interested.
    “It’s Butch,” Audrey said. “She belongs to Jenna. I watch her during the games.”
    Butch! “A mascot?” I asked.
    “There’s several,” Audrey said. “You’ll see them.”
    The two teams met on the field for the coin toss.
    “So how do you two know each other?” Audrey asked, pointing at me and Fern.
    Fern angled toward us, one Mystic tanned knee crossed over the other, her pink sock and saddle shoe a blur as she twitched, a tick that I knew meant she actually felt a little unnerved.
    “I’ll tell,” Fern said. “We dated the same boy our freshman year of college. I figured it out when I found a drawer full of pictures Zest had taken of them together. Some of them were of the same night he’d been with me, Halloween parties. Zest here had apparently gotten the early shift.”
    “Fern called me,” I said. “We decided to get our revenge.”
    “What did you do?” Audrey asked.
    “We both told him we were pregnant on the same day,” Fern said. “Pink sticks and all.” She glanced around the other women. “Magic markers.”
    The women erupted into laughter, making the Hoebags clustered near home base glance up.
    I wished I had brought my camera. Three men and two women were striding across the field now, sharp in bright red shirts. More Hoebags.
    “They allow men on the team?” I asked.
    Audrey leaned forward, her hand on the white dog. “It’s all co-ed.”
    “They don’t mind being called Hoebags?”
    “They don’t complain,” Bella said. “We’re the league leaders.”
    A stick-thin woman wearing red vinyl hot pants and a teensy red top walked in front of us. She led a Chihuahua adorned with a red Hoebag jersey.
    “Wow, she’s a serious fan,” I said.
    “She’s a he,” Fern said.
    “A HE?”
    “Shush!” Fern glared at me sternly.
    “Sometimes it’s hard to tell,” Bella said.
    Audrey shifted closer, hugging Butch. “Some people check for the Adam’s apple, but surgery can fix that. I look at the hands to be sure.”
    “Hortie still has his own neck,” Bella said.
    I touched my throat, my face probably flaming brighter than a Hoebag uniform. Fern elbowed me. “Gotta hone that gaydar, dearest,”