unit.â
Just then, the door to my sisterâs room swung open, and my dad came in. I looked at him in his blue boxers, with the mechanical pencil stuck behind his ear. His hair was standing straight up from his head, and his newspaper was still folded to the crossword-puzzle page.
âAny of you kids know an eight-letter synonym for an extinct rodent?â he asked. âI tried pocket rat, but it doesnât fit.â
Thatâs my dad, I thought. A real rocker.
CHAPTER 8
I COVERED THE PHONE with my hand and whispered to my dad.
âGive me a second, Dad, and weâll get you the answer youâre looking for, I promise.â
My dad wasnât getting the clue that I wanted him to leave.
âRobert,â he said. âYouâre usually full of information. Any ideas?â
âActually, Mr. Zipzer, my special knowledge is in the reptile world rather than the rodent world, although I once did a book report on the life cycle of the black-tailed prairie dog and found it quite fascinating,â he replied.
âYeah, Dad,â I said, trying to edge him toward the door. âRobertâs a snake-iguana kind of guy, not a mouse-rat-gerbil kind of guy.â
Boy, did I want to get my dad out of there. We needed to finish the arrangements with Cousin Ralphie, and I didnât want my dad hearing about the concert until I had the whole plan figured out. I motioned to Frankie with my eyes, but he wasnât getting it. I motioned with my head, and he still wasnât getting it.
âHello,â I whispered. âDing-dong, anyone home?â
Frankie looked puzzled. Finally, I jerked my thumb toward the door. I gestured toward the living room, then toward my dad.
âI think you might find the word heâs looking for in the living room,â I said. âYou know, that room out there. The one where Iâm NOT talking on the phone.â
âRight!â Ashley said.
âRighhhht,â I said.
Frankie nodded. At last, he was with the program. Heâs usually good at picking stuff right up.
âCome on, Mr. Z.,â he said. âLetâs go into the living room. I always find that synonyms for rodents come to me a lot faster out there.â
âMaybe itâs because the ceilings are higher,â I threw in.
âYeah,â said Frankie. âThereâs more oxygen floating around. Itâs better for the brain.â
Before my dad could answer, Frankie and Ashley had him by the arm and were escorting him back to the living room.
Robert laughed his snorty little nerd laugh, which sounds like the noise my dog, Cheerio, makes when he has a cold.
âMore oxygen in the living room,â he snorted. âActually, Hank, everyone knows that the number of oxygen molecules per cubic foot varies according the density of the atmosphere, not the height of the ceiling.â
âThatâs so interesting, Robert. I think you should go see if that theory works in your apartment. Like now.â
âBut what about Katherine?â he said. âShe needs me.â
âYouâre absolutely right,â I agreed. âKatherine needs you . . . to leave the room. Bye-bye, little man.â
I basically shoved Robert out the door, which is easy to do because his bony little self doesnât weigh much more than a pocket rat soaking wet. Come to think of it, he looks like a rat soaking wet, except without the tail.
I put the phone receiver back to my ear.
âAre you still with me, caller number fifteen?â Cousin Ralphie said. âWhat is your name again?â
âHank Zipzer,â I answered.
âThatâs a WFUN kind of name,â he said. âZippy but not zipified.â
I laughed. Cousin Ralphie was always so funny and full of words. It must be amazing to have words on the tip of your tongue like that, to never have to search for a thought. Me, Iâm always looking for the next word, the right word, any word.