Read Hell to Heaven for Free Online Page B

‘The food I eat as a human keeps it satisfied. If I’m going to start eating as a snake, then I’ll try things at home and let you know.’
    ‘This should be your home,’ Yue Gui said. ‘When the Dark Lord returns, I’m sure it will be.’
    ‘Is it his home?’ I said.
    They were silent at that.
    I continued. ‘No, Wudangshan is his home. This is one of his offices. And for me it will be too. For you , this is home. Both of you. And you should be named as rulers together.’
    ‘That would interfere with the alignment of the Heavens and would not be accepted,’ Martin said stiffly. He relaxed. ‘Father will return, and he will retake his place on the throne of the Northern Heavens.’
    ‘Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take him to come back?’ Simone said.
    Martin and Yue Gui shared a look.
    ‘You do!’ Simone said.
    ‘You know they aren’t allowed to tell us mortals the future, Simone,’ I said, miserable.
    ‘Actually, nobody knows,’ Martin said. ‘Father is too elemental, too powerful and too aligned with the forces of nature to be predicted. He is so much a part of the fabric of the universe that he cannot be seen in divination. It is like trying to predict the course of the Earth around the Sun—the Cosmos just says “It will happen, leave it alone.”’
    ‘Both of us have caught glimpses of him though,’ Yue Gui said, and Martin nodded agreement.
    ‘You have?’ Simone said, visibly brightening. ‘You’ve seen Daddy?’ She jiggled slightly with excitement. ‘Did he say anything?’
    ‘We have caught glimpses ,’ Yue Gui said with sympathy. ‘His Turtle and his Serpent are at opposite ends of the world. They cry. They seem to be searching for one another—and for you.’
    ‘And for you,’ I said.
    ‘We are reptiles,’ Yue Gui said. ‘We lay our eggs and leave them. That is the Way.’
    The demons cleared the dishes, and Martin poured more tea all around. I flicked my tongue above it to test the temperature, then carefully lowered my snout into the bowl to drink without tipping it over.
    ‘See? Told you you’d get there in the end,’ Simone said, waving her own teacup. ‘It just took practice.’
    ‘And if you used a larger bowl you wouldn’t have any issue with it at all,’ Martin said.
    I pulled my dripping snout out of the tea bowl, then wiped it on a napkin laid on the table for me. ‘I’m not drinking out of a dog’s bowl, thank you very much.’
    ‘Dragon bowl!’ Martin said.
    ‘You are argumentative today, Ming Gui,’ I said sternly. ‘You need to take some time and meditate on your faults; you are lacking in filial piety towards your senior. You should be more modest and obedient.’
    Simone nearly spat out her tea, and Martin’s mouth flopped open with delight.
    Yue Gui toasted me with her teacup. ‘I could not have said it better myself, ma’am; you are quite correct in your clarification of Ming Gui’s faults. He should write a ten-page, seven-legged essay outlining his shortcomings and his plan for reparation.’
    ‘Be careful,’ Martin said with good humour. ‘I may just do that, and make all of you read it.’
    Simone shook her hands over the table. ‘No, that’sreally not necessary!’ She brightened. ‘But you can write an essay for me on the reproductive variety in different species of annelids.’
    ‘Worms?’
    ‘Worms.’
    ‘Wait, the whole phylum? That’s a hell of a lot of worms! Their reproductive variety is astounding—did you choose this topic yourself?’
    Simone nodded. ‘I like worms.’ She sagged slightly. ‘But you’re right, it’s a huge topic.’
    ‘When’s it due?’ Martin said.
    ‘Two weeks from tomorrow.’
    He put his hand out over the table. ‘Sounds like fun. I’ll help you. Deal?’
    She shook his hand. ‘Deal. You like biology too?’
    He shrugged. ‘Most interesting field of science there is. Some Celestial biology makes Earthly biology look very tame in comparison.’ He turned to me.