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University of Arizona, a Chinese student was caught in an immoral situation. I was the one who had to handle the case. Frankly, I felt sorry for the kid. The circumstances revealed made me fairly sure the kid had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and really wasn’t a Peeping Tom, but he had been charged with that crime. So I gave him the name of an attorney whom the university hired to help students, and I encouraged the student to call him. That student was so ashamed that he phoned the attorney from a phone booth at 8 a.m. the next morning. When the attorney finally got around to returning the student’s call at 5 p.m. that afternoon, the student was still waiting at the phone booth. The outside temperature that day was close to 100 degrees.
    That student stuck out physical discomfort because the worst thing he could do was shame his family. He was a smart kid, an A student. A person of character caught in a tough situation. And his character won out in the end.
    What happens these days when movie stars get into trouble? When they get caught driving drunk or beating someone to a pulp? Their publicist releases a warm-fuzzy apology: “Oh, he’s so sorry. He’s checking himself into rehab. . . .” But does the behavior really change?
    If someone is truly a person of character, they will go to the person they have wronged, offer a heartfelt apology, and ask what they can do to make things right.
    Is your child respectful of you, of others in the family and outside the family—including teachers—and of your faith? Does your child have good phone manners? Does she tell the truth? Is she self-motivated to do homework (or does she wait for you to jump-start her)? Does he care about being on time? Is she bothered when others cheat on a test, or does that seem she bothered when others cheat on a test, “normal” to her? Is he a “gimme gimme” child who has a Christmas list the length of the expressway? Is your child kind? Does he stick up for others smaller or weaker than himself on the playground, or is he the bully? Is she respectful of her older sister’s special things? Does your child take your no for a no or push until he gets what he wants? Does she use language that your grandmother would have approved of? Is he the kind of young man you would hire to work for your company?

    Character is not only everything, it’s the only thing in the long run. It is the foundation for your attitude and behavior.
    3 Simple Strategies for Success
    If you want your child to have a respectful, kind Attitude, to have Behavior that you’ll want to write your grandma about, and to have Character that reveals itself as trueblue even when you aren’t watching, follow these 3 simple strategies for success.
    1. Let reality be the teacher.
    Reality discipline is a term I coined in 1984. Basically it means to let nature take its course. And when nature doesn’t take care of the problem, you help nature along. Don’t rescue your kids from the consequences of failed responsibility.
    If your son is supposed to do a project for chemistry and doesn’t complete it, don’t stay up until midnight doing it yourself. In fact, don’t do anything about it at all. Don’t even mention it. Just wait for reality to hit when he stands in front of his stern chemistry teacher, who tells your son in no uncertain terms what he thinks of incomplete projects.

    If your little girl goes into her older sister’s room and gets into her makeup, don’t intervene in the situation and help her clean it up before her sister gets home. Unless she thinks to clean it up herself, don’t bother. Just wait to see what her older sister is going to say, and let the two of them work it out.
    Parents have a tendency to rub their child’s nose in what he does wrong. In most cases, letting reality be the teacher is enough discipline in itself.
    There’s also a tendency to be a bone digger—digging up the situation long after it’s over and hitting your