peace.
Friday, September 27 , 1861
L UCIEN AND I BOTH BECAME DISAPPOINTMENTS to our father on the same day. I cannot stay in Prospect. Not watching Mrs. Buck fall apart. Not while I'm falling apart. Yesterday, I joined the Confederates.
I came home to find out Lucien, who wasn't handling Colleen's death well, had joined the Union.
Neither of us have told Father yet. Just what the armies need, two men afraid to tell their father anything. Cowards.
I leave soon. I must tell Father tomorrow. I confess the only reason I joined the CSA was to leave Prospect and get away from the horrible memories. We buried Colleen under a willow tree next to the church. It hurts so much every time I walk by.
Also, I had overheard Lucien speaking to Daniel Smith about the intentions to join the Union. I confess I joined the Rebels in hopes to spend time away from Lucien. He has no idea I killed Colleen, that it was my fault, but I know he loved her. And I'm keeping this secret from him.
Perhaps when we return from battle, we can be close brothers again… somehow. I miss my brother. I miss talking to him and sharing things with him. I want to be brothers again. I'd like that.
Sunday, September 29, 1861
T HIS IS MY LAST ENTRY UNTIL after this war is over. After this, I am locking this book away, and I don't know if I'll ever read it again. Or if anyone will, but I know that for now, it is finished.
When Lucien and I told Father our news, he hugged us both tightly. He made Lucien promise to look out for his little brother. Made us both promise not to hurt each other. And if we were ever on the same battlefield, to watch out for each other. He said he could not stand to lose anyone else. He said he doesn't care who wins; he only wants his boys back.
Lucien and I have one last night sharing a room. Tomorrow we leave. Tomorrow everything changes.
Tomorrow. I hope someday I can write in this journal again. I hope Lucien is home as well. He'll have a family. I'll have my regrets. But we will be together again. After we’ve had time to heal. I want that more than anything.
Lucien looked at me funny earlier during supper. Nothing major, but a little voice inside my head said that maybe he knew about Colleen.
Maybe that's why he signed up on the opposite side.
Maybe he hates me.
Maybe he’ll want to get revenge someday.
I won't ask him.
I'm sure it’s nothing.
I love my brother. Maybe someday, we will be a family again.
Someday.
Jessup Hart Blackwell
1861
To Be Continued in Reckless (Fall 2016)
A NOTE FROM KELLY
F ROM THE TIME H EARTLESS CAME OUT , people have been asking me about Hart and what is his back story. For the longest time, I've wanted to sit down and write Hart's thoughts and feelings, and I wanted to do it while he was human. So... I sat down with an old journal, and I hand wrote this entire story. It was an emotional experience (as you know since you've read the journal... or I hope you have since you are at the end), but it is one that I feel like readers need to know about.
Jessup Hart Blackwell is a complicated person. I love that we got to learn more about him in this book.
Some have asked if he will be in Reckless (Fall 2016). My answer is of course he will! In one way or another ;) Happy reading! And please leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. I would really appreciate it.
Love y'all,
Kelly Martin, 6/10/2016
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
K ELLY M ARTIN is the bestselling author of paranormal, contemporary, historical, and YA fiction. She has been married for over ten years and has three rowdy, angelic daughters. When she’s not writing, she loves taking picture of abandoned houses, watching horror gamers on YouTube — even though she’s a huge wimp — and drinking decaf white chocolate mochas. She’s a total fangirl, loves the 80s and 90s, and has a sad addiction to paranormal TV shows. {Basically, she likes creepy stuff.} Her favorite characters are the very flawed
Friday, September 27 , 1861
L UCIEN AND I BOTH BECAME DISAPPOINTMENTS to our father on the same day. I cannot stay in Prospect. Not watching Mrs. Buck fall apart. Not while I'm falling apart. Yesterday, I joined the Confederates.
I came home to find out Lucien, who wasn't handling Colleen's death well, had joined the Union.
Neither of us have told Father yet. Just what the armies need, two men afraid to tell their father anything. Cowards.
I leave soon. I must tell Father tomorrow. I confess the only reason I joined the CSA was to leave Prospect and get away from the horrible memories. We buried Colleen under a willow tree next to the church. It hurts so much every time I walk by.
Also, I had overheard Lucien speaking to Daniel Smith about the intentions to join the Union. I confess I joined the Rebels in hopes to spend time away from Lucien. He has no idea I killed Colleen, that it was my fault, but I know he loved her. And I'm keeping this secret from him.
Perhaps when we return from battle, we can be close brothers again… somehow. I miss my brother. I miss talking to him and sharing things with him. I want to be brothers again. I'd like that.
Sunday, September 29, 1861
T HIS IS MY LAST ENTRY UNTIL after this war is over. After this, I am locking this book away, and I don't know if I'll ever read it again. Or if anyone will, but I know that for now, it is finished.
When Lucien and I told Father our news, he hugged us both tightly. He made Lucien promise to look out for his little brother. Made us both promise not to hurt each other. And if we were ever on the same battlefield, to watch out for each other. He said he could not stand to lose anyone else. He said he doesn't care who wins; he only wants his boys back.
Lucien and I have one last night sharing a room. Tomorrow we leave. Tomorrow everything changes.
Tomorrow. I hope someday I can write in this journal again. I hope Lucien is home as well. He'll have a family. I'll have my regrets. But we will be together again. After we’ve had time to heal. I want that more than anything.
Lucien looked at me funny earlier during supper. Nothing major, but a little voice inside my head said that maybe he knew about Colleen.
Maybe that's why he signed up on the opposite side.
Maybe he hates me.
Maybe he’ll want to get revenge someday.
I won't ask him.
I'm sure it’s nothing.
I love my brother. Maybe someday, we will be a family again.
Someday.
Jessup Hart Blackwell
1861
To Be Continued in Reckless (Fall 2016)
A NOTE FROM KELLY
F ROM THE TIME H EARTLESS CAME OUT , people have been asking me about Hart and what is his back story. For the longest time, I've wanted to sit down and write Hart's thoughts and feelings, and I wanted to do it while he was human. So... I sat down with an old journal, and I hand wrote this entire story. It was an emotional experience (as you know since you've read the journal... or I hope you have since you are at the end), but it is one that I feel like readers need to know about.
Jessup Hart Blackwell is a complicated person. I love that we got to learn more about him in this book.
Some have asked if he will be in Reckless (Fall 2016). My answer is of course he will! In one way or another ;) Happy reading! And please leave a review on Amazon and/or Goodreads. I would really appreciate it.
Love y'all,
Kelly Martin, 6/10/2016
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
K ELLY M ARTIN is the bestselling author of paranormal, contemporary, historical, and YA fiction. She has been married for over ten years and has three rowdy, angelic daughters. When she’s not writing, she loves taking picture of abandoned houses, watching horror gamers on YouTube — even though she’s a huge wimp — and drinking decaf white chocolate mochas. She’s a total fangirl, loves the 80s and 90s, and has a sad addiction to paranormal TV shows. {Basically, she likes creepy stuff.} Her favorite characters are the very flawed
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