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But if I think “I really need another coffee” I stay as Gab.
    I can do Caitlin more easily. I think it’s because she’s a girl so I feel more comfortable as her. It is very creepy being Gab—with his body!!! Even so I’ve never managed to stay as Caitlin for more than five minutes.
    Gab can do anyone, even people he doesn’t know personally. Just so long as he knows who they are he can do them: Eminem, that guy out of One Direction, Gandhi (my favorite), Michelle Obama(!) . . .
     
    15th January, 2014
    I’ve stayed as Caitlin for much longer this morning. Gab had turned into Aiden and somehow that helped me get into character as Caitlin and I managed to keep myself like that for nearly half an hour. I’m mentally exhausted now, though. Gab never gets tired, never finds staying transformed a problem. I thought we were the same as we share the same Gift, but we’re not. I can still only transform into two people—I can’t even do Dad. Gab says it’s early days and that I found my Gift much sooner than he did, but I think his ability is stronger.
    • • •
    Saw Caitlin today. She dropped a letter off from Sam. I transformed into Caitlin for her and she was horrified. She says she can’t believe her thighs are that big (they’re tiny) and kept staring at her bum. I couldn’t keep my concentration for laughing.
     
    17th January, 2014
    I’m worried about Gab. I think something’s wrong.
     
    18th January, 2014
    I don’t know what to do. Things have gone wrong—badly wrong. I can’t understand why it’s happened to Gab because he’s so brilliant at transforming. His Gift is amazing, much stronger than mine. But he’s changed into a fain and now he can’t get back to being the real Gab.
    We’ve both been transforming lots—he’s been doing it to try to help me. He turned into a fain, which he’s done many times and he’s been many different fains, but last night he transformed to be one on the inside. His appearance is just the same as always, but inside he’s different—inside he’s a fain. And now he can’t get back.
    He says he’ll work it out, but I think he’s really worried. I don’t think he’s slept. He’s been like this for nearly twelve hours now. He’s never kept transformed for more than a day and he’s never been stuck before.
    The really worrying thing is that he’s actually asking me how I do it, how I transform! He says that he normally does it almost without thinking but now it feels totally alien. It’s like he really has become a fain!
     
    19th January, 2014
    Gab is still stuck. He stayed inside last night, which would normally make him ill, but he didn’t have the slightest headache or nausea. He couldn’t sleep because (he admitted) he’s so worried.
    I’ve told him to think of the things he, the witch Gabriel, likes or does. He’s gone through his day, washing, eating, climbing up the side of the house, and he’s now told me that it all feels the same only slightly less good, slightly flat. That could be because he’s a fain or because he’s feeling so tired and worried.
    Caitlin came round and I told her about Gab. She didn’t see him because he hid in his bedroom and I didn’t want to show him to her as if he was some freak show, not that she would have noticed anything different anyway, as he looks exactly the same as the Black Witch Gabriel.
    After that I went to town and phoned Sam. I didn’t mean to tell him about Gab, but I was so upset that it all came out.
     
    20th January, 2014
    Gab’s asleep beside me now.
    Last night I slept up on the roof and Gab was in his bedroom. Then this morning he came up to join me. He said that everything he’s tried seems to make the problem worse, seems to strengthen his fain-ness. “Instead of helping me get out of it, I’m getting more and more fain-like. It’s as if I’m in quicksand: the more I fight, the further I sink; the more I try to be Gabriel, the more the fain part takes over.” He tried