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bills.
    The haves and the have not families each have their own set of challenges when it comes to the issues of spoiling and entitlement, but the rule is that money does not matter:
    Entitlement can occur no matter the financial situation of the family.
    The Needs Trap: When Good Parenting Turns Bad
    Now for a couple of tough questions. Are your child’s needs almost always met? Do you work hard to anticipate your child’s needs? Any good parent would—or so you would think. Perhaps one of the key reasons is because when we make sure our children are happy, it makes us happy.
    But when our child’s needs are constantly met, they are never allowed to need something—really need something—or feel what it feels like to go without, even for a small period, it makes them unable to deal with discomfort. This impedes their emotional development, as they never learn to cope with going without, or generate their own solutions to meet their needs.
    If you are the kind of parent who:
Consistently gives your seven-year-old juice before he gets thirsty.
Wraps your 11-year-old in warm sweaters before she gets cold.
Intervenes in social issues too soon, before the 14-year-old experiences distress or has a chance to make sense of it on her own.
    Gratitude Tip Remember, when it comes to parenting, sometimes short-term advantage leads to long-term disadvantage. The repeated quick and easy “yes” to the chocolate bar request when our hands are full at the supermarket checkout, will lead to a lifetime of demands that grow faster than the weeds in your garden.
    Then you are inadvertently raising a child who will be overly dependent and less able to cope with distress and discomfort as she gets older. Overindulging our children is destructive to their emotional strength, confidence, and ability to cope and bounce back from challenges.
    When we constantly meet the wants of our children, they will be unable to determine what the difference is between needs and wants . “I’m your daughter,” is not a good reason to buy something that your child wants. Nor is it okay for our kids to say something like: “I need those new sneakers.”
    If our kids say they “need” something, we have an opportunity to teach the difference between a need and a want . A questioning response, such as, “You need those new sneakers or you want them?”, is a subtle cue to help our kids to understand the difference. That, and the reality that we need to make a commitment to ourselves to not meet our children’s requests when they say they need something unless the something is food, shelter, or essential clothing. 17
    For now, remind yourself that we should allow our children to experience hunger, thirst, tiredness, and hurt feelings (within reason). This is part of the art of parenting: knowing when to protect and do for our children, versus when to stand back with love and encouragement and allow our children to do for themselves. As we explore these issues, we hope to help you find your own balance between the two. We want you to be confident that, more times than not, you are in order to allow your children to be their most emotionally strong, resilient selves.

Entitlement Crushing Action The next time your child says, “I’m BORED!” and they look to you to solve the boredom problem, redirect them to find their own solutions even if it takes them the entire day to figure it out. It is not okay for your child to have this expectation of you to fix it for them. This is entitlement in the making.
    The Praise Trap: Do You Do This?
    Parents love to praise 18 their children—we are told that it is an essential part of support, love, and being a good parent. But did you know that many parents over praise their children? This misguided praise can cause serious issues in the lives of our children.
    Misguided praise comes in a variety of different forms:
“Wow, this is the best picture in the world. You’re a little Van Gogh!”
    This praise is not