What is it?
MarkBaynard: One of the anorexic Frenchwomen was just blown away by a stray gust of wind. I’d better go see if I can catch her.
Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Principal Snyder
MarkBaynard: Goodnight Darla
Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Oz
MarkBaynard: Goodnight Tara
Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Xander
MarkBaynard: Goodnight Drucilla
Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Spike
MarkBaynard: Goodnight Buffy
Abby_Donovan: Goodnight Angel
MarkBaynard: Goodnight Tweetheart…
Tuesday, May 3—2:39 P.M. .
MarkBaynard: What are you wearing?
Abby_Donovan: Coffee-stained sweats and Hermione Granger’s Hogwarts scarf. You?
MarkBaynard: Samuel L. Jackson’s Jheri curls from PULP FICTION and Frank-N-Furter’s corset from ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW.
Abby_Donovan: Have you made it to the Loire Valley yet? You promised me a pic so I could live vicariously through you.
MarkBaynard: VIEW FROM MY iPHONE: http://twit photo.com/MB7stb
Abby_Donovan: Sigh…it’s the Chateau de Villandry, isn’t it? Tell me EXACTLY what you’re doing at this very moment.
MarkBaynard: Sitting beneath a vine-covered pergola, nibbling on sun-warmed goat cheese & admiring a re-creation of a medieval herb garden.
Abby_Donovan: Did I tell you I had some Velveeta today? I took a pic of my view for you too…
Abby_Donovan: VIEW FROM MY LAPTOP: http://tweetpic.com/282519064
MarkBaynard: Is that a Gollum doll climbing over the back of your computer? I’m guessing it hasn’t been a very productive writing day, my preciousssss.
Abby_Donovan: Let’s just put it this way—I know why Hemingway shot himself.
MarkBaynard: So do I. Because he couldn’t drink himself to death fast enough.
Abby_Donovan: Every day I tell myself that this is the day I’m going to finish Chapter 5 and start Chapter 6 .
MarkBaynard: Maybe you’re being too hard on yourself. It can’t be that bad. When is the book due?
Abby_Donovan: March of 2009.
MarkBaynard: But this is May of …oh …never mind …
Abby_Donovan: So far Chapter 5 consists solely of “All work and no play makes Abby a dull girl” written 6000 times.
MarkBaynard: Please tell me you don’t own an ax.
Abby_Donovan: No, but I did see some spooky twins hanging around the elevator yesterday.
MarkBaynard: Maybe you’re just suffering from imposter syndrome.
Abby_Donovan: Shouldn’t that be your gig? Especially if you really are Ashton Kutcher. Or Batman.
MarkBaynard: I’ve read it happens to people who experience “overnight” success but secretly believe they don’t deserve it.
Abby_Donovan: Let me guess. You minored in psychology.
MarkBaynard: Actually it was a double major. I minored in pissing people off.
Abby_Donovan: I bet you graduated at the top of your class.
MarkBaynard: Summa Cum Laude all the way, babe.
Abby_Donovan: I haven’t really felt like an imposter since the book hit so big. More like a guest star in my own life.
MarkBaynard: The part of Abigail Donovan is now being played by Tina Fey.
Abby_Donovan: Only because that chick who played Nellie Olsen on LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE wasn’t available.
MarkBaynard: At least you’ve made it to Chapter 5 of your second book. I haven’t even made it to Chapter 1 of my first book yet.
Abby_Donovan: You should be grateful you’re not published yet. No deadlines. No expectations. No crippling fear you’ll disappoint everyone who matters.
MarkBaynard: No fortune. No fame. No adoring sycophants.
Abby_Donovan: Don’t make me Block you. I already had to Block several people today.
MarkBaynard: Why?
Abby_Donovan: I tweeted a joke about my “ginormous freak feet” and the panty hose fetishists started following me.
MarkBaynard: Friend with pet squirrel mentioned being a “squirrel lover” w/equally shocking results. There really IS something for everybody on Twitter.
Abby_Donovan: I’m thinking of starting a new hashtag. #How2LoseFollowers.
MarkBaynard: #How2LoseFollowers: Insult the president. Any president. Obama. Bush. Clinton.