wouldn't happen to own any firearms yourself, would you, sir?" Cooper asked him, pressing his luck.
"I'm afraid not," my husband said.
"Really? You mean an ex-lawman like yourself doesn't keep a little protection of some sort close at hand, just in case?"
"No. I don't."
"I take it they haven't found the murder weapon yet," I said, trying to steer Cooper away from the fight he seemed determined to lure Big Joe into.
"No ma'am. As a matter of fact, I regret to say they haven't."
"Well, lookee here," Big Joe said, jumping right back into the fray. "You're not going to find it by hassling us. I can promise you that. But you wanna pat us all down to see for yourself, rather than just take my word for it, come on. All right? Come on ahead, you can start with me…"
"Now, Joe—" I said, sensing a bad scene coming on.
"No. No! The man obviously isn't satisfied that the three of us are all just innocent bystanders in this whole mess, so I say, let him do whatever he has to do to become satisfied. We've got nothing to hide, right?"
"Mr. Loudermilk, I think you're overreacting," Cooper said mildly.
"Overreacting? I beg to differ with you, officer. When Joe Loudermilk overreacts, heads roll and molars fly. You understand what I'm saying?"
"Pops, take it easy," Bad Dog implored his father.
"Take it easy, nothing! He's accusing me of murder!"
"I didn't accuse anyone of anything," the ranger said. "I merely suggested—"
"That I mistook Bettis for a burglar and put a bullet in his chest."
"He was in your home uninvited, was he not? Isn't that what you've been telling us all along?"
"Yes, but—"
"So what else would you have taken him for but a burglar? If he had come into your trailer while all of you were out, like you say, it could have only been for one reason: to burglarize the place. Not just to use the bathroom. He could have done that as an afterthought."
"Except that he was already dead when we found him," I said.
"Yes," Cooper said, turning. "So you say."
"So I say? You mean, so it is! We don't have to lie to you, Ranger Cooper. And you don't have to follow us around all over this park just to be sure of that. We're not hiding anything. From you, or anyone else."
"Excuse me, Mrs. Loudermilk, but nobody's been following you people anywhere. Nobody from my office, anyway."
"I don't care whose office they're from. I don't like being spied upon, and I want it to stop."
"But—"
"Look," Big Joe said, demanding the ranger's attention again. "If we'd killed that white man for the reasons you're suggesting, we would've told you so, all right? We'd have caught a little hell for shooting an unarmed man, sure, but that would've been about it. Two frightened old people protecting their home against an unknown intruder, that's all it would've looked like to you. Just an unfortunate episode, highly regrettable yet ultimately harmless. You would've let us all go without filing charge one, I'll bet. Wouldn't you?"
Cooper didn't want to, but eventually he nodded his head. "I imagine that's how it would have worked out, yes."
"All right then. That means we had no reason to lie to you, doesn't it? Why lie when the truth can set you free?"
"Amen," Bad Dog said.
Big Joe turned to glower at him.
"Sorry," Bad Dog said.
"What you say makes sense to me," Ranger Cooper said, admitting the fact with as much grace as he could muster, "but those Sheriff's Department boys, they're a sight more skeptical about these things than I am. They like to think everybody's lying, all the time. Me, on the other hand, I believe most people will tell you the truth the very first time they're asked for it. Or at least the second time they're asked, anyway."
He was looking at me expectantly, thinking he could charm me into making some kind of confession. When I failed to offer him one, he sighed and said, "Well, I've imposed on you people enough for one day, huh? Thank you all for coming in, and enjoy the rest of your stay at the park."
He
MR. PINK-WHISTLE INTERFERES