here to talk about your father."
"We're not?"
"No."
"Then we must be out here to talk about my money. Right?"
"Among other things. Yes."
A grin slid snakelike across his face, putting every tooth in his mouth on display. "You're gonna give it to me, aren't you? Man, I knew it! I knew I could count on Moms!"
"You mean, you thought you could count on Moms. Moms isn't having any of your nonsense this time, Theodore. This time, you've gone too far."
"What? What'd I do now?"
"You know perfectly well what you've done. You've mixed your own parents up in murder, that's what, and you don't even have the decency to tell us why! "
" Me? "
"Your father and I have been lying through our teeth to protect you up to now, young man, but no more. You understand? I want the truth, and I want it now. Every single word of it."
"The truth?"
Again, the overwhelming power I held over my son was beginning to work its magic. His eyes were expanding with fear and his lips started to tremble as the dreadful realization that he was about to tell me everything I wanted to know slowly hit him.
"Moms—" he started to say, before all hell broke loose in the park behind us.
'' Lemme go! Lemme go before I hurt somebody! " we heard a booming voice cry, in the midst of what sounded like a small riot breaking out. We turned around to find a handful of park rangers falling all over themselves trying to subdue a gigantic black man, less than thirty yards from where we were standing. They had managed to get a pair of handcuffs on him and were now trying to shoehorn him into the back seat of a patrol car, but they would have probably had an easier time wrestling with a live rhinoceros. The big man wasn't budging.
"I was just askin' the man a couple'a questions!" he growled, standing his ground against the wall of uniformed bodies pressing against him. "What's wrong with that?"
He was the biggest human being I had ever seen. His chest was as wide as a small Toyota, and his thighs were as thick as oil barrels. He had a diminutive waist, no neck to speak of, and was wearing a pair of wraparound sunglasses that made his bull-like countenance even more imposing than it already was.
"Hey! Isn't that—?" Big Joe started to ask, suddenly standing right beside me.
"Come on, pal! Get in the goddamn car!" one of the exhausted rangers pleaded, before Joe could finish his question.
"We just want to ask you a few questions! Take it easy!" another ranger promised the big man, even shorter of breath than his friend.
As a growing crowd of people gathering in the trailer park watched in awe, the giant held firm for a solid minute more, unshaken and unbowed, then simply shrugged his massive shoulders and said, "Okay, okay! I got nothin' to hide. Let's go."
And with that, he lowered himself into the back of the patrol car with the greatest of ease, like a little boy going for a Sunday drive with the family. Visibly relieved, and amazed by their sudden good fortune, the rangers slammed the door on him quickly, before he could change his mind, then piled into their respective patrol cars and escorted him away, leaving all of us at the trailer park to speculate wildly about what we had just seen, and what it could have possibly meant.
"You said you knew who that was?" I asked, turning to Big Joe. He seemed to be in a daze.
"I don't know. It looked like…" He let his voice trail off.
"Who?"
"But hell, that doesn't make any sense. He wouldn't have no business bein' out here."
" Who? "
"Dozer Meadows. Left defensive end for the Raiders. Four-time All-Pro, the best in the business."
"The Raiders? "
"Yeah." He turned around himself to get Bad Dog's opinion. "Wasn't that—?"
But Bad Dog, who'd been standing in our shadows only seconds ago, wasn't there anymore.
Somehow, I wasn't terribly surprised.
4
Ever hear the expression "A day late, and a dollar shy"?
That's the story of my children, right there. Oh so close to being good kids, yet not quite there.