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one mean poker player.
     
    We learn that Cain survives his banishment and lives a prosperous life. He finds a girl, marries her, and together with his new wife produces a son named Enoch. Enoch had two children and more grandchildren, until approximately 600 or more years later one of Adam and Cain’s descendents gave birth to Noah.
     
    Now, just in case you missed the flaw in the above story, like I did on the first go around, where the hell did Cain’s wife come from? As it is written quite clearly that God created first Adam and then later Eve. The two hook up and produce two sons of their own. The start of the human race! Abel is killed and Cain is banished but marries some broad. Who created her? I guess the author of Genesis doesn’t include any mention of her lineage or creation because to do so would either discredit his original Genesis story, or make it one of incestuous beginnings, like Mississippi.
     
    At the grand old age of 500 years (and In case you didn’t notice, I just made that coughing sound that intentionally, feebly conceals the sound of ‘bullshit’) Noah became the father of Shem, Ham and Japheth.
     
The Flood
     
    God didn’t stay happy with his creation for very long and in his heavenly loneliness he became irate that all of mankind seemed to be having too much of a good time enjoying guilt-free sex, drinking wine and smoking whatever they could get their hands on:
     
    “ The Lord saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth and his heart was filled with pain.” (Genesis 6:5 NIV)
     
    And judging by the proceeding words of God, this pain must have been a little more uncomfortable than a slight burning sensation of reflux:
     
    “ I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth – men and animals and creatures that move along the ground and birds of the air – for I am grieved that I have made them.” (Genesis 6:7 NIV)
     
    So, he wants to start all over again? This is the intelligent designer we are talking about and he wants to get rid of the entire human race on day one of the honeymoon.
     
    Now, notwithstanding the obvious human blunder of applying human emotions to a celestial spirit, we are now witnesses to the fact that God is a genocidal maniac.
     
    Is this not mass-murder on the grandest level? Does it not beget the obvious question: Why do believers worship a mass murderer? Surely, if God, the all-knowing creator, created man, would not he have foreseen this so-called evil coming? This is nothing short of a senseless atrocity of the highest order, to destroy millions of people because he was displeased at the moral performance of ‘some’ of those that he created in his own image. If we are the mirror of God, as the Bible claims, does this mean that he too has a natural, instinctual urge to participate in drunken orgies? And if not, why did he fail to program us without these so called wicked desires? And more significantly, God hadn’t prescribed any rules or commandments at this stage, so why were we being punished for breaking the rules when there weren’t any yet to follow? To punish by death for violating invisible rules seems a little harsh, doesn’t it? This is certainly not the act of a God of love, peace and mercy. And so much for free will, huh? Free will must come with a honesty donation basket. I hate those!
     
    If this event were true, then this is a violent, unforgiving, celestial dictator who requires unquestioning obedience, to not only follow his rules, but to guess what he is thinking too.
     
    Fortunately, the rationalists amongst us can be thankful that not only is God a character of wicked fiction but we can also take comfort that our ancestral forefathers did not meet a watery grave, as there is no evidence that Mt Everest was ever covered in flood water, nor do indigenous