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the only one Evvie has told of his illness and his valiant fight to survive. If the girls suspect, they say nothing. Nor will they, until they are officially informed.
    Hy and Lola are there, as are Tessie and Sol. The two couples, leaders of the gossip brigade, are quiet for a change. Hy raises himself to his full five feet. Lola looks terrified. Tessie manages to munch on a sandwich with her free hand. Sol winks at Hy as if to show pleasure in this manly stuff. They starerapt with attention. They, along with the half dozen others, have their legs apart, knees bent, each grasping a walking cane tightly with its point thrust outward.
    Merrill Grant, who lives in Phase Four, stands in the center of the group with his cane. In front of him there is some sort of stuffed rag dummy tied to a large pole. What’s with canes all of a sudden? Especially since not one of these people needs one.
    Sophie and Bella rush to the circle. They are bursting to reveal today’s drama at the book fair. I hurry after them, knowing I need to attach myself to them for damage control.
    I hear Merrill shout out, demonstrating on the dummy. As he does, his group repeats in cadence with him, “Swing hard. Hard as you can! Sound off. One two, stab into the neck. Three four, push down in the groin. Five six, on top of the head. Seven eight, get him in the gut. Hit him high. Hit him low. Whatever you do, don’t let go!”
    Merrill was a marine in World War II. To this day, he still wears what’s left of his hair in a regulation buzz cut.
    The canes are swung at these imagined body parts. My neighbors are puffing away, sweat running down their faces as they shout along with Merrill. They grimace to show their anger at their imaginary enemies. With each thrust they shout “Ugh!”
    I join Bella and Sophie, who are standing behind the circle as they try to get Evvie’s and Ida’s attention. “What’s going on here?” I ask.
    Sophie answers me as Ida waves back. “A lot of the retirement homes are doing it. It’s the latest craze. Old people need to protect themselves, don’t they?”
    Bella says, “It’s called Chop Suey.” Sophie shakes her head. “I already told you six times.”
    “Well, it’s hard to remember.” She tries again. “Kung Fooey?”
    Sophie corrects her. “This is Cane Fu. Merrill saw it on TV and also in the papers. He decided he should start a group of our own. We would have been here if we hadn’t gone to the fair.” She giggles as she is undoubtedly thinking about what happened today. “We had more fun with you, Gladdy.”
    Yeah, hilarious, I think.
    Evvie sees us and points to her wrist, then lifts five fingers, indicating to us they are almost done.
    I watch in hideous fascination. “Since when do any of you own canes?”
    Bella contributes, “Merrill got them for us wholesale bulk rate at a medical equipment store. I’m gonna paint mine pink.”
    Finally the group disbands with a last loud group “Ugh!” And then, “Olé!”
    Or is it
oy vey?
    “But what about people who really need their canes to stand up?”
    Ida reaches us, panting. She’s heard my comment. “That’s a different class. Merrill shows them how to fall down and attack from the ground.”
    If they don’t get killed first or die of a heart attack, I think.
    Sophie and Bella grab Ida and Evvie. Naturally Joe is right at Evvie’s side. “Invigorating!” Ida says. “I think I might get arm muscles out of this.”
    We head for a patio table where the girls left snacks, lemonade, and towels. They flop down, dropping their canes, exhausted. “That was some workout,” Joe says.
    Evvie adds, “Beats our boring calisthenics.”
    I can’t get over this craziness. “What if the attacker gets the cane away from you? He’ll be like fifteen, tough, in perfect condition, armed and unafraid. You’ll be shaking and terrified and won’t have a chance in hell to overcome him. What then?”
    Hy, passing by, calls out, “Then you kiss your ass