Getting Old Is Très Dangereux: A Mystery

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Book: Read Getting Old Is Très Dangereux: A Mystery for Free Online
Authors: Rita Lakin
good-bye.” He grins and pats Lola on her rear. I have a feeling all this macho physical activity is turning him on and she’ll be led to their bed as soon as they hit their apartment. Ugh, indeed.
    Sophie and Bella grab seats and start blabbing.As if I could stop them. I pull a chair away from the table and sit there with my head in my hands.
    Sophie says, “You ain’t gonna believe what happened to Gladdy this morning.”
    “What? What are you so excited about?” Evvie downs a large glass of lemonade.
    Bella blurts, “Jack met his French girlfriend.”
    This gets everyone’s attention.
    “What French girlfriend?” Ida asks.
    I say in desperation, “At least keep your voices down. This is no one’s business but mine.” Why am I kidding myself? Juicy news like this will spread like applesauce on a latke within an hour.
    Joe is leaning so close, he’s almost in my lap. “Wow!”
    Sophie stage-whispers at a fast pace, “She’s a redhead and she’s way younger than us and she’s gorgeous.”
    “Talk slower,” Evvie says. “Take a breath.”
    “Andshe’safamouswriter,” Bella adds, unable to slow herself down.
    “And she kissed Jack. In front of a thousand people!” Sophie is ecstatic.
    “Maybe twenty … or fifty,” I say with a dollop of sarcasm.
    “And she called him ‘moan chair,’ whatever that means.” Bella looks to me for help.
    “
Mon cher
,” I correct. Why did I do that? It’s like tightening the noose at my own execution.
    Bella fairly jumps up and down. “That’s it, whatever. It means she was madly in love with him.” Bella adds, “Her name is Michelle. Isn’t that sexy?”
    “And they met in Paris.” Sophie jumps in as she reaches for the guacamole dip and Doritos on the table. “And Jack was so embarrassed.”
    Evvie suddenly realizes he is missing. “Where
is
Jack?”
    What can I say? My little family group looks to me for answers.
    “Is he back in your apartment?” Evvie asks.
    All the chairs are moved closer in, sort of reminding me of the early settlers seated around their campfire inside the wagon train. “I don’t know what to tell you except that Jack seemed very surprised at seeing the woman. He knew her in Paris eight years ago.”
    Sophie is fanning herself nervously with a napkin. “He sure was flustered. That must have been some hotsy-totsy romance. Does this mean the wedding is off?”
    Ida throws her a dirty look—Sophie, subtle as usual. “Don’t be in such a hurry to throw the baby out with the bathwater.”
    Bella, holding a Dorito aloft, looks around perplexed. “What baby? Where is a baby taking a bath?”
    Ida shakes her head. “It’s just an expression. It means don’t jump to conclusions.”
    “Oh.” Satisfied, Bella delicately dips her chip in the dish of guacamole.
    “Girls. And Joe,” I say. “I really don’t feel comfortable talking behind Jack’s back.”
    “Yeah, men hate that stuff.” So says Joe, spokesperson for the entire male sex.
    “Well,” Ida says, looking back toward the building. “You won’t have to do that anymore. You can do it to his face.” Ida’s chin nods to the twosome coming our way.
    Surprisingly, Lola, who is never without her Hy, is heading toward us with Jack in tow. He clearly isn’t happy about it, but she’s holding firm to his left arm.
    “Not a word,” I whisper. “Act natural.”
    “Be careful,” Evvie warns. “Watch every word you say. What goes in Lola’s ear will eventually come out of Hy’s mouth.”
    Lola is very pleased with herself. “Look who I found just about to go upstairs. I told him you weren’t up there.”
    Jack waves feebly with his free arm.
    What I’m thinking is that my mind is a clock. It’s an hour and ten minutes since I got home. What has he been doing?
    Sophie and Bella suddenly pretend great interest in pouring themselves another drink. Ida taps her fingers on the table, looking hither and yon. Evvieis busily examining her nails and giving them a

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