Read Get Off on the Pain for Free Online

computer and spin around to turn it on. I hear Bailey walk away, so I turn on my camera and relax in my chair while waiting for my computer to boot up. The first picture that pops up is of Memphis gripping the heavy bag, his muscles flexing through his white shirt.
    I swallow hard while pushing back the thoughts of wanting to see every last inch of what is under that wet material, feeling it with my own hands. There’s something about Memphis that draws me to him. Maybe it’s his broody personality, or the opacity of his emotions. He seems dark. That alone should be pushing me away, but it doesn’t. It only gives me a thrill to find out more.
    I guess you stick with what you’re used to . . .

LEANING AGAINST THE WALL WITH my face buried in my arm, I take a long, deep breath before slowly releasing it and looking around me.
    Standing alone in the hallway of this house, the emptiness consumes me, bringing back all the memories of the past. When I close my eyes all I see is the misery and heartache that once lived in this house. The feeling is almost too hard to describe and definitely too hard to swallow.
    There’s an ache in my chest that gets tighter and tighter with every breath that I take, making the memories of the past seem that much more real. As hard as I fight to push the feeling aside, it can’t be ignored. I know this, and I hate it with everything in me.
    A part of me knows that I need to just pack up and get out of this shit town, leaving this house and everyone I used to know behind me, but my heart won’t let me leave without knowing that Alex is safe. I always told him I’d protect him no matter what, and I meant it.
    When I was locked up I asked my mother to promise me one thing: to never let Alex find a way to visit me no matter how hard he tried. She kept that promise. I didn’t want him worrying about how I was doing or beating himself up over what happened that night. I saw the guilt in his eyes as they dragged me away, and I have to admit that hurt more than anything else.
    That and my mother . . .
    Thoughts of her cause my throat to feel as if it’s on fire. I swallow hard, trying to push the feeling away, but it only seems to burn more. I need to go visit her, but I think I need a little more time before opening that wound. That will be sure to send me over the edge.
    I push away from the wall and head down the hallway to Alex’s room; at least the one he was using before I left. Opening the door, I flip on the light and take a look around. There’s got to be something here that will tell me where he’s been: a phone number or a letter, something. He wouldn’t just leave town knowing my release date was coming up. I would like to believe that anyway, but who the fuck knows, a lot can change in someone over a period of time.
    I toss around all the papers on his desk and look in the drawers, leaving a huge mess in my wake just to come up empty handed. I have searched every other place in this house and have found nothing. I’m fuming and I suddenly feel as if I’m suffocating. I need to just get the fuck out of here and fast. It’s too much too soon.
    Rushing out of his room and through the house, I slip on my leather jacket and make my way into the garage to uncover my old Harley. I fucking love this motorcycle. It took me a shit ton of fights to save up enough money for it, and it took even more fights for me to keep it in one piece. It’s a huge part of who I am, and having it within my grasp almost makes me feel like the old me again, or at least the one I used to be.
    Grabbing my helmet, I straddle my bike before revving the engine a few times to be sure she’s running good. It sputters a bit before roaring to life. That could only mean that Alex has done a little work on her since I’ve been gone. She’s good to go. I can’t help but to feel a rush; the realization of freedom creeping in.
    Pulling out of the garage, I click the door shut behind me and stop to pull my helmet on.