Read Forgive Me Father For I Have Loved for Free Online Page B

wick.
    “You can pray all you want,” Josh said gruffly as he looked down at his plate. “It won’t change anything, Dane.” He shook his head, his tone still fueled with fury, but Dane knew it wasn’t anger toward him; but toward God and the world, in general. Josh admitted he was exhausted from fighting the tormenting emotions, the back-to-back doctor appointments and everything else that this downward spiral to hell entailed.
    “This is the reality, Dane. Take it or leave it. I’m in stage 3B, the damn chemo and radiation is making me even sicker! I am going to die from this. It could be tonight, it could be months from now, but I’m going to die sooner than I’d like. I’ve gotten past the shock, I’m angry as hell, but,” he gulped, “I’ve accepted it. My affairs are in order,” he said matter-of-factly before coughing harshly into his napkin. His face reddened from the exertion and pain that twisted his expression with each outburst.
    “God is stronger than cancer.”
    Josh rolled his eyes dramatically.
    “You’ve always seen the glass half full, Dane. You were the class clown, the calm guy all rolled into one. You kept order in our group of misfits.” He managed a genuine smile. “But I’m sorry, Dane, that won’t change anything this time. No jokes will make this disease run away from my body...no prayers, resilience, none of that will change one...damn...thing. I had to accept it, so I can live the little bit of life I have left. I just...I just want to enjoy this time with my family and friends...that’s why I’m here.”
    “Well, you do what you want,” Dane offered coolly. “I’m trusting in God, Josh. It isn’t over until it’s over. You didn’t believe you’d ever get the job you have now—you got it. You didn’t believe Margie would agree to marry you—she did. You didn’t think your sister would survive that car accident, but she did. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your shoes and I don’t pretend to know, but I do know that God heals and I believe that with all my being. God believes in you , even when you have all but given up, and when God has faith in us, then that is enough.”
    Josh gave a weak smile and nodded as he picked at his plate full of creamy mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli and grilled lime chicken. Dane cast him a reassuring glance, then bowed his head and prayed over their food. He finished the prayer, but kept his eyes closed for a few moments as he deliberated over what had transpired. He could feel Josh watching him. He knew the man probably hadn’t prayed in weeks and had all but waved the white flag on his life having nothing else to say to God, except a certain four letter word.
    Josh, you may have given up, but I haven’t. I can’t lose you. God wouldn’t let that happen right now. It’s not your time to go. Margie just had another baby...you got promoted. You’re my best friend, the only person besides my family who didn’t treat me like a freak when I became a priest. The only person who I could tell anything to, the only one who truly understands me. No, this is far from over. I need you, bro...
     
    ~***~
     
    Two weeks later...
     
    The ducks fluffed their downy black feathers, making sudden ripples in the placid lake surface, disturbing the green moss around them. Tiny white fish swam below them, searching for the perfect meal. Blues and pinks streaked across the sky, blending together like flowing home-spun salt water taffy. The air smelled of summer, teasing his senses with the pending season, giving a preview of what was to come. Dane looked over to his right, smiling at an elderly couple holding hands, their slow bodies moving as one. Wrapped in a ribbed, long white sweater, her thin, shoulder length silver hair blowing freely in the breeze, the woman held on to her aging husband’s arm, smiling faintly out at the flowing freshwater. Her face embodied peace, and an appreciation for every moment they had together. Such a