feelings were those of her mother’s spirit, who Sanya always found to be nearby when she entered this world. She figured her mother was able to feel Sanya’s presence in the same way, even when they were separated between the physical and spiritual worlds. Now that they were in the same world, however, Sanya could feel Lori as if she were still alive. It was comforting every time she was back in her mother’s presence, but it wouldn’t compare to when she finally brought Lori back into a body and could feel her touch.
Sanya wanted to tell her mother to travel away from this area in case she failed to kill Basen. But it didn’t seem as if Lori could hear her. Every time Sanya had spoken, her mother’s energy hadn’t changed. All Sanya could do was convey fear and then love. Her mother always had the same response to that: comfort and a heavy sense of peace, as if nothing could bother Lori and she wanted Sanya to feel the same.
She wants me to know that everything’s going to be fine. It’s what she always told me when I was a child, even when my father separated us so he could continue his experiments without interference.
Another portal opened, stretching her mother’s energy toward it along with all the other spirits Sanya could sense. She cared about none of them but Lori’s, holding it steady.
Lori’s spirit would’ve disintegrated by now like the others that had entered this world around the same time, but Sanya had been repairing her mother’s energy, replenishing her life as if Sanya were nursing a child. Lori needed so little, and Sanya could replenish her own in the physical world by eating and sleeping, so there was no risk of running out. She just wished she’d come to her abilities sooner so she could’ve kept her sister’s spirit alive as well.
Basen continued to open portals, but it was no longer a threat with Sanya now retaining her mother’s energy, keeping her spirit whole.
He’s not just practicing. He’s trying to anger me.
But Sanya had learned to control her temper. It was the only way to hide her true self. Letting go of her constant rage was one of the most difficult things she’d ever taught herself, but it was the first step toward the new Sanya, the one who eventually charmed Tauwin Takary into an engagement. Of course, psyche helped immensely with that as well.
Sanya stayed with her mother, soon losing track of the number of portals Basen continued to open. Many spirits came apart because of him. Sanya didn’t know where they went. She assumed that they simply ceased to exist.
She figured Basen would return home once he was finished trying to lure her. That’s when she’d kill him. She first had to return to her body, which was more difficult after taking the safli potion. It always felt like trying to emerge from a nightmare. A few times she’d been trapped in the spiritual world, panicking that she’d never get back out. But returning to her body always became easier the more time she spent away from it, as if the spiritual world knew she didn’t belong there and wanted to expel her.
She felt something among the spirits, a familiarity like she felt with her mother. Sanya beckoned it toward her. The spirit was fresh and strong. Years would not undo it. She could feel its curiosity as it obeyed her calling.
Just as she recognized it, Alex’s spirit recognized her as well, stopping suddenly. Sanya knew she didn’t resemble the other spirits. She was shaped like a woman rather than a cluster of bright colors. Alex must’ve known she wasn’t dead. He rushed toward her in anger, frightening her mother, who scurried away and wanted Sanya to follow.
From all the time Sanya had been with her mother’s spirit, she knew these weren’t fully thinking beings. They contained the essence of the person they used to be—this she could sense just as if they were still in the physical world—but they gave Sanya little sense of actual life. They seemed to function more on
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