and made my way outside. I found an empty bench across the street from Cups and sat down.
People watching was one of my favorite pastimes. When I was sick and couldn’t really do much, I would sit and stare out my window. Today there weren’t many people out yet, mostly just morning joggers, but it was still early on a Saturday morning.
I set my coffee down on the bench next to me and started scrolling through the apps on my phone. I had become addicted to a few of the games and they proved to be a nice distraction from everyday life. Then I looked up and noticed the same pair of eyes staring back at me that I had seen yesterday.
He was walking toward me. I swallowed a lump in my throat. I didn’t have the security blanket of work, my wig, make-up, or the cloak of normalness. I could only hope he didn’t recognize me without those things. The closer he came, the hope of him not recognizing me went out the window.
“Faith?” he questioned me, now standing right in front of me. He held a brown paper bag in one hand, and a cup of coffee in the other.
It took a second before I could answer him. Do I pretend I’m not me, do I tell him my real name, or do I confirm his question?
“Yeah, it’s me. Bryce, right?” I smiled, knowing that was his name but trying to play it off.
“Yeah, I almost didn’t recognize you, but your eyes were a dead giveaway.” He smiled. “Do you mind if I join you?” he asked, waiting for me to answer him.
“Ah, yeah…sure.” I stumbled on the words as I moved my coffee for him to sit. He sat down next to me.
“So, why is a girl as beautiful as you sitting on this bench all by yourself?” he asked.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I went and got some coffee and now I am just enjoying the morning.” I smiled back. “What about you?”
“All the guys from last night are still passed out at my house. I didn’t want to wake them so I left to pick up some breakfast before I head back home.”
“I hope the bachelor isn’t feeling too horrible today.” I laughed, remembering how shit-faced he was.
“Yeah, well, he has a couple of weeks to sleep it off before his wedding.” He laughed.
We sat on the bench together, and talked and laughed to the point where I was completely comfortable with him.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Faith, I completely lost track of time. I need to get back home. Hey, you want to do this again sometime?” he asked.
“Sure.” I smiled at him.
We exchanged numbers and both went on our way after we had talked for over an hour. Mostly about random things, from the joggers who passed, to what our favorite drinks were.
Chapter Eleven
I spent the short drive home thinking about what just happened. I couldn’t recall the last time I actually felt something deep for someone. Bryce was different, though. He made me feel things I thought the chemo had robbed me of. By the time I made it home the smile I wore vanished. Bryce was hot and he made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a while, but reality sank in. Being friends with a guy was one thing and maybe I was jumping the gun on this, but I wanted more than just a friendship with him.
Just the thought of him made me think of things like walking hand in hand, waking up next to him, and his hands on my body. Things I told myself I would never let happen.
When I walked in my front door, I threw off my sweater and placed my phone on the docking station. I turned the music up loud and pulled out my cleaning supplies. If I can’t sleep and my mind is working overtime thinking about the things I can never have, then I would try to turn my mind off. So, I scrubbed, dusted, and danced around my apartment removing every last speck of dust. I vacuumed, swept, mopped, and disinfected every last inch of floor space.
I sat on my brown microfiber couch and glanced around my apartment. It was only three so I had a few hours before I needed to get to work. I pulled out my phone and