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not only older than she was, she discovered that he was nineteen years older, a gap that required a series of adaptations and compromises that weren’t entirely easy. Soon she discovered that he not only had a wife, he also had a son – and that brought a further shock. Andrew had married Val when he was only nineteen and Harry had arrived soon afterwards. Kate did quick sums in her head and was horrified.
    ‘That makes him older than me!’
    ‘You’ll love him,’ Andrew assured her.
    Kate had a feeling it might not be quite straightforward, but she was an engineer. She liked order and structure. If a job had to be done, she first planned the process required for efficient results. She started to pave the way for Harry liking her, but soon discovered that people don’t obey flow charts and systems quite so neatly as building bridges or wind turbines.
    She thought about that a lot in the early days. ‘How,’ she demanded of Charlotte one morning some months later, when she was desperately trying to calm a howling baby Ninian and feeling horribly out of control, ‘did this happen? How am I here? Tell me.’
    ‘Lust,’ Charlotte answered honestly and they both burst out laughing. Charlotte’s hair had still been naturally golden then, her face smooth and fresh, while all Kate was conscious of in those days was the dark rings under her own eyes from lack of sleep.
    Now Andrew was so much a part of her life that a new order had been constructed that no longer felt odd, or difficult, or anything other than completely natural. Kate had never dissected her marriage, never taken it apart and examined the bones of it, nor felt the need to. Yet for some reason she could feel the sands shifting under her, the infinitesimal rearranging of a million grains as the sea drains back. Ninian’s comment rattled round her head. You could tell fucking lies to the Pope and get him to believe you. Why hadn’t Andrew reprimanded him? And what the hell had he been talking about? The muttered conversation between Ninian and Harry at the party played again in her mind. ‘ Don’t you dare tell Kate, ’ Harry had said, and Ninian had answered, ‘ But I saw them, I tell you! ’
    Tell her what? Saw who? Small doubts, but they wormed their way into Kate’s brain and she couldn’t stop thinking about them.

Chapter Five
    Forgie village hall was a stone-built Victorian building, functional but shabby. The whole place begged for redecoration. There was a corner where the roof leaked and damp had leached in. It needed to be sorted but money, as ever, was the issue. The main hall was big enough for a badminton court and there was a small stage at one end. Tonight it was the venue for the launch of Martyne Noreis and the Body in the Belfry – despite the fact that Andrew had become something of a celebrity, he still unveiled each novel locally. Rows of chairs were set out facing the stage, where Andrew and an interviewer would sit. Kate, who hated being late for anything, had made a particular effort to be here in good time because she hadn’t yet broken the news to Andrew that she couldn’t stay on afterwards. Instead, she had to make an after-dinner speech at a conference for renewables engineers – in fact, she should be there now.
    The room was already busy. Kate, feeling self-conscious in her little black dress and Chan Luu slate-to-white ombré scarf, spied Ninian waving at her and made her way down to the front.
    ‘Saved you a seat.’
    ‘Thanks, darling.’ She gave him a hug although she was never quite sure these days how he would respond to that.
    Tonight he hugged her back. ‘You look neat.’
    ‘Afraid I’ve got to rush off right after. I’m giving a speech at a dinner.’ Ninian’s face fell.  ‘I know, I am sorry, love. I should be there now.’
    He was clearly upset. He shoved his hand abruptly through his thick hair so that it stood on end and his eyebrows drew together alarmingly. ‘Mum, for fuck’s