F-Stop

Read F-Stop for Free Online

Book: Read F-Stop for Free Online
Authors: Desiree Holt
about the way you ran out but life was very complicated for you right then. Like I couldn’t understand if you told me? Explained to me? I knew what you did was not for public discussion but you could have given me some kind of explanation, you know.”
    “Kat, listen—”
    “I’m not through yet.” She curled the hand in her lap into a fist. “A month later, about the time I’m finally beginning to put you out of my mind, you show up at my door expecting me to take you in for the weekend. Like okay, I got mad, so let’s get past it and have some fun.”
    He laughed but it was edged with bitterness. “You certainly didn’t hold back making your feelings clear that night.”
    The hurt she’d felt at the time came surging back. “Just what did you expect?” she bit off.
    “I don’t know,” he said in a quiet voice. “But I like to think I’m different now from that guy you threw out of your place. That I look at life a little differently.”
    “Differently?” Her stomach knotted. “Exactly what does that mean?” He twisted his lips. “That I try very hard not to be such an asshole anymore.” He covered her hand with his, refusing to let her pull it away, his touch like a spike of electricity firing through her. He looked as if he was having trouble finding the right words. As if he was coming to some kind of momentous decision. “Damn it, Kat, it wasn’t just the agency that got in the way. I was scared. I’ve never let a woman get as close to me as you did. Getting…attached to someone was way in the future. I just…” He shook his head.
    “Just couldn’t handle commitment and what goes with it,” she finished for him.
    “But I know that men in your line of work have families. Don’t tell me none of your partners are married because I won’t believe you.”
    She watched his eyes slide away, avoiding the answer.
    “Listen, Mike. If we aren’t honest with each other about everything there’s no new start in the cards. Ever.” She held up her hand as he opened his mouth. “And I’m not telling you there is one. I’m just saying. You know?”
    “Okay. Three of my partners are married. Very happily, as a matter of fact. One of them just recently.”
    “So it’s not an impossible situation.”
    “No,” he said quietly. “It’s not.”

    Kat didn’t know whether to be pleased at the admission or not. He certainly didn’t act as if he was ready to take the plunge. Of any kind. So what did he mean by a new start? She was having enough trouble keeping her hormones under control. Just the sight of the lean, dark-haired, dark-eyed hunk of masculinity was stirring up feelings she’d done her best to keep buried.
    “I know you invented the words ‘playing the field’ and ‘unattached’ but…”
    “Let’s just cut to the chase, okay?” He owed her an explanation, one he’d avoided for a long time and he needed to own up to what he’d done. At the time he hadn’t expected it to bother him but Katherine Culhane was different from every other woman he’d ever been with.
    “Mike…” She tried to pull her hand away again but he tightened his hold on it.
    “I screwed up,” he told her in a voice that was almost pleading. “There isn’t a day since then that I haven’t regretted it. Not one minute. The instant I saw you today I knew what a fool I’d been.” He raised his eyes and looked at her, an anguished expression on his face. “But what if I’m not good at it? At relationships? I don’t mind disappointing the bimbos, Kat, but I couldn’t handle it if I couldn‘t be what you want.”
    “Damn it, Mike.” She yanked her hand free. She couldn’t think clearly when he touched her. “You don’t even know what I want.”
    “Then why don’t you tell me?”
    She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. She wasn’t ready for this. Not now. She was still trying to adjust to even seeing him again. And she had other problems to resolve.
    “Let me ask you something.”

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