She looks over at me as she talks. Then she hangs up, and instead of coming back over, starts typing away.
Suddenly I want to grab her and beg for mercy and explain that this is life or death for me. A momentous feeling runs through me. The kind you get sometimes when you realize the weight of something while itâs still happening. This lady and whoever was on the other end of that phone are about to make a decision theyâll probably forget about in a week, but Iâll be living with it forever.
She walks back over. Her expression hasnât changed. âWelcome to Hollywood,â she says. âLetâs get you a room.â
The room is bigger than my house. Itâs a little weird, though. Thereâs a chair shaped like a hand and a black-and-white photo of a nude girl shown all curled up on a floor. Youâd need a pilotâs license to turn on the sink. I guess in LA they just like simple things to be complicated. I throw myself on the bed, trying to calm down, but I canât, so I decide to go to the roof and look at the city.
A bartender getting off his shift tells me the whole roof is normally like an outdoor club, but now itâs so late that everyoneâs gone home. When I get out there, itâs quiet and abandoned.
I walk over to the long narrow pool that makes it look like you could swim right off the edge of the building. Except for the lights under the water, the patio area has gone dark. Beyond it, Los Angeles is hard to take in. Hard for me to understand. City lights go to every horizon. Where do you even start in a place like this? All those people, and for them Calumet may as well not exist at all.
âHello, Los Angeles.â I say this out loud, not sure why. I lean on the railing and watch a helicopter fly off around the corner of a skyscraper.
âSorry, itâs not going to say hello back.â
I turn around. I guess she was there the whole time, a girl sitting behind me in a strange egg-shaped chair. Just sitting there. I canât help but think right off that sheâs pretty. But the kind of pretty where pretty seems like a wrong, too-soft word. Her hair is dark, long, with these two thin braids in the front of it. I think she might be my age. She doesnât look like I imagined girls in Los Angeles would, all platinum-blonde hair and diamonds in their ears or something, but sheâs nothing like the girls from home either.
âHey,â I say. âIâm Ford.â
âHi,â she says, but doesnât give me a name. Itâs seeming like people are cagey about that around here. But Iâm not letting her off the hook.
âWhatâs your name?â
She sits up and forward and gets this determined look on her face like sheâs suddenly decided to get involved with talking to me. Iâm not sure what I did to open her up. âMagnolia.â
âHuh, thatâs a nice one,â I say. âI have a cousin named Marigold, but she doesnât look like a Marigoldâshe looks more like a thornbush, if you know what I mean. Rough. Sheâs locked up for trying to blackmail a guy.â I donât even know why Iâm telling her about anyone in my family. I should be starting out new.
âMy mom named me after Steel Magnolias , the movie,â Magnolia says. âShe loves Julia Roberts.â
âWhy didnât she name you Julia, then?â
âMiddle name.â
I laugh, and the sound of it in the air makes me realize Iâm tired. âThatâs a mouthful, Magnolia Julia.â
âYour drawl just gave it another syllable.â I think I can see her barely smile in the dark. Iâve racked up some experience making girls smile, but this almost feels lucky. She twists the chair a little from side to side, like sheâs trying to shake more conversation out of herself. âWhere are you from?â
âArkansas. I just got here. Iâve never been before. Iâm