Read Elrod McBugle on the Loose for Free Online

think my comment was worth a ha-ha at all. Then he spat his gum into the beaker.
    It plopped in the liquid, bobbed up to the top, and floated there.
    "Gross," said Julie, searching through her immense vocabulary to find the one word that perfectly expressed her innermost feelings.
    Then the liquid began to swirl, and the pink gum sank beneath the surface. There was a fizzing sound. There was a bubbling sound. There was a footsteps sound that was Andy getting out of the way in case it decided to blow up.
    The liquid suddenly turned pink.
    "Gross," Julie repeated, because if one word perfectly expresses your innermost feelings, there's no real reason to waste energy trying to find another one.
    The liquid was now bubbling violently and rising to the top of the beaker. This was not good, because spilling pink gook that hadn't been created according to lab instructions all over the table was a sure way to get in trouble. For a split second I considered slamming my hand over the top of the beaker to block the liquid, but then I decided I kind of liked that my hand didn't have holes in it.
    Right before it could spill over the top, the liquid stopped rising, and then sank back down to its original level. Julie and I breathed a sigh of relief. I picked up the metal stirring thingie and poked at the liquid, which was no longer liquid but a sticky, gooey, gum-like concoction.
    "We're never going to be able to get the beaker cleaned before Mrs. Jones comes back," Julie noted.
    The beaker solved that little problem by cracking in several places and falling apart. The gum-like stuff slowly oozed out, forming a nice pile of glop. By now, everyone in the class was watching.
    Julie sniffed. "You know, that smells really good."
    I bent my face down to the glop and took a whiff. She was right. It had an absolutely fantastic smell, like the best strawberry-flavored bubble gum ever.
    I looked at the clock. Only five minutes until the end of class, and Mrs. Jones could walk in any second. I hurriedly grabbed a large petrie dish and scooped the glop into it with a clean beaker. I was thankful to learn that it didn't stick to the table at all, just leaving a large pink spot that wiped off with a paper towel.
    "What are you going to do with it?" asked Julie.
    I draped another paper towel over the dish. "Take it to the bathroom and throw it away, where Mrs. Jones won't find it."
    "It does smell good," said Julie. "I think you should try it."
    "Yeah, right."
    Mrs. Jones walked back into the classroom right as the bell rang and told us to leave our lab books on the table, so she could collect and grade them. Fortunately, I was able to move past her without her noticing the paper towel-covered petrie dish I was carrying.
    As I headed for the bathroom, I got another whiff of the glop, and decided not to throw it away just yet. Maybe this was a genuine scientific discovery. Maybe it could cure glomerulonephritis! I picked up my pace so I wouldn't be late to my next class, and made a quick detour to my locker. I set the dish on the top shelf, right beside my glow-in-the-dark wart, then shut my locker and hurried off to my next class.

WHEN PRE-ALGEBRA ENDED and my day at school was officially complete, Scoopy and I walked back to my locker. I spent a few moments once again trying to remember my combination, then opened it. The smell was overwhelming. And it was goooooooooood .
    "Whoa!" said Scoopy. "What is that?"
    "A chemical reaction."
    "Can I have some?"
    "No. It's probably..." I started to say "poison," but hadn't the lab sheet said that none of the chemicals were harmful? The only real danger would be catching some horrible and disgusting disease from Andy's spit. What could it hurt to let Scoopy try some?
    I removed the paper towel, grabbed the petrie dish, and held it out to him. "Here, grab