Read Elrod McBugle on the Loose for Free Online Page B

outside the main entrance. We'd taken the lid of a cardboard box and turned it into an elaborate display case, with the name "McBugle Chew" written in big letters on the front. I held the box out to the kids for their inspection.
    "Free samples!" I said. "It's the best gum you'll ever chew. If you disagree, I'll take the sample right out of your mouth and chew it myself."
    The kids helped themselves to a few of the pieces. "This is delicious!" one girl proclaimed. The other kids chewed and nodded their agreement.
    "Remember, it's McBugle Chew," I said. "Tell your friends."
    We gave out the rest of the free samples on the way to first period. As the day progressed, more and more people came up to me asking where they could get some.
    "It goes on sale Monday," I said. "Bring lots of money."
    When it was finally time for science class, I had two missions. First, copy down everything I'd written in the lab book. Second, convince Julie to join our partnership. I'll be honest, I didn't really want to share the profits, but since Julie already knew how McBugle Chew had been invented, I figured it was best to fend off the potential competition early. Besides, she could help pay for ingredients and provide some manual labor.
    Her first reaction was "You let human beings chew that stuff???"
    "Yes," I said.
    "Why???" she asked.
    "Because," I said.
    "Are you crazy???" she asked.
    "Yes," I said.
    She stared at me, horrified.
    "By the way, people are willing to pay for it," I said. "Do you want to join us in making all kinds of money?"
    "Yes," she said.
    And so it was settled. Julie's job was to buy the chemicals we needed, while Scoopy's job was to purchase a wide variety of bubble gum brands and flavors. My job was to make two more McBugle Chew display boxes, and fix the first one because "Chew" had fallen off. Surprisingly, there was no complaint about my having named the gum after myself. I guess Julie's reasoning was that if something went seriously wrong, I'd be the one to take the blame.
    Julie is a very smart girl.
    The next day, Saturday, I woke up early. Then I went back to sleep, because there was no way Scoopy would be awake anytime before one in the afternoon. I got up around nine, ate a couple bowls of cereal-shaped sugar, and finished my display cases. I watched a bit of brain-rotting television, read a brain-rotting horror book about killer fuzzy slippers that bit people's feet off, and called Scoopy around twelve-thirty.
    "It's about time," he said. "I was wondering how late you were going to sleep."
    "What are you talking about? I was waiting for you."
    "I've been up since seven-thirty. I feel great! Let's make some gum!"
    This gum truly had powers beyond anything we imagined.
    I talked to Julie, after five minutes of interrogation by her father about why I (a boy) was calling his precious daughter (a girl). She said she'd be over in fifteen minutes.
    So finally we were all together, in my kitchen, ready to make our fortune. We mixed the chemicals exactly as we had during class, except that we used a plastic pitcher instead of a glass beaker, and finally ended up with the same nasty brownish-black liquid.
    "I chewed that ?" asked Scoopy, looking sick to his stomach.
    Next came the moment of truth. I unwrapped a piece of strawberry bubble gum, held it above the pitcher, and paused dramatically. If you're going to be a successful inventor, you have to know how to use those dramatic pauses.
    Then I dropped it in.
    Two seconds later, we were all still alive, which is always good. Since this is a book about my wacky misadventures, I'd like to be able to say that an enormous blob of gum burst out of the pitcher, covering every square inch of the kitchen. And then I'd describe how my father walked in, clenched his fists, and shouted