Effi Briest

Read Effi Briest for Free Online

Book: Read Effi Briest for Free Online
Authors: Theodor Fontane
Mining and Lining in mind, he had given his twins the names Bertha and Hertha. The third young lady was Hulda Niemeyer, Pastor Niemeyer’s only child; while more ladylike than the other two, she was also boring and conceited, a lymphatic blonde with somewhat protuberant, stupid eyes that somehow always seemed to be searching for something, which was why Klitzing of the Hussars had said of her, ‘Doesn’t she look as if she were expecting the Archangel Gabriel at any moment?’ Effi felt that the somewhat critical Klitzing was only too accurate, but refrained nonetheless from making any distinction between her three friends. That was the last thing she had in mind at the moment. ‘This boring old embroidery. Thank goodness you’re here,’ and she put her elbows on the table.
    ‘But we’ve driven your mamma away,’ said Hulda.
    ‘Not really. You heard her, she was going anyhow, she’s expecting a visitor you see, some old friend from when she was a girl, I’m going to tell you about that later, a love-story complete with hero and heroine, and ending in renunciation. You’ll be amazed, you won’t believe your ears. I’ve seen him too, Mamma’s old friend, over in Schwantikow. He’s a Landrat, and very handsome and manly.’
    ‘That’s the main thing,’ said Hertha.
    ‘Of course it’s the main thing, “women should be womanly, men should be manly” – that’s one of Papa’s favourite sayings, as you know. Now help me tidy this table, otherwise I’ll be in trouble again.’
    In a trice all the skeins were packed into the basket, and when they were all seated again, Hulda said, ‘Well then Effi, it’s time now, let’s have this tale of love and renunciation. Or is it not really that bad?’
    ‘A tale of renunciation is never bad. But unless Hertha takes some of these gooseberries I can’t start, she can’t keep her eyes off them. Help yourself, as many as you like, we can pick more later, only don’t throw the skins away, or better still, put them on this newspaper supplement here, then we’ll make it into a paper bag and get rid of the whole lot. Mamma can’t stand it if she sees skins lying everywhere, she always says you could slip on them and break a leg.’
    ‘Don’t believe it,’ said Hertha, addressing herself to the gooseberries with a will.
    ‘Nor do I,’ Effi agreed. ‘Just think, I fall at least two or three times every day, and I’ve never broken anything. Proper legs don’t break so easily, mine certainly don’t, nor yours, Hertha. What do you think, Hulda?’
    ‘One shouldn’t tempt Providence. Pride comes before a fall.’
    ‘There’s the governess again, you’re a real old maid.’
    ‘Well, it won’t stop me getting married, perhaps sooner than you.’
    ‘Think I care. Do you imagine that’s what I’m waiting for? That’s all I need. Anyway, I’m going to have someone, maybe quite soon. I’m not worried. Only the other day little Ventivegni from across the way said, “What do you bet we’ll be getting together this year for somebody’s Wedding Eve!”’
    ‘And what did you say to that?’
    ‘“It’s possible of course,” I said, “quite possible; Hulda is the oldest and might get married any day.” But he wouldn’t have any of that and said, “No, it will be quite another young lady – who is as dark as Hulda is blond.” And he gave me a very serious look as he said it… But how did I get on to all this, I’m forgetting the story.’
    ‘Yes, you do keep going off at a tangent; maybe you don’t want to tell us after all.’
    ‘Oh I want to all right, but it’s true of course, I do keep getting off the subject, because it’s all rather strange, in fact, it’s almost romantic.’
    ‘But didn’t you say he was a Landrat?’
    ‘That’s right, a Landrat. And his name is Geert von Innstetten, Baron von Innstetten.’
    All three burst out laughing.
    ‘What are you laughing at?’ said Effi, put out, ‘What’s that supposed to

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