Read Driving Big Davie (Dan Starkey) for Free Online

can't decide what the right thing is without phoning someone in the middle of the bloody night for advice.'
    She cut the line.
    She was probably trying to make some kind of point, but it was lost on me. It was too cold to think. I was getting a sore head. I wanted a nice warm bed. And a cup of hot chocolate. I wanted a hug from my wife and some late movie to snuggle down to. I was getting old and I really didn't mind.
    Fuck it.
    I made another attempt, really put my heart and soul into it, and finally managed to hoist Davie onto his feet.' Come on, mate, come on, have to get you home.'
    His legs went all floppy. But I held him up. I slapped at his face.' Come on, Davie, come on.'
    Eventually, eventually, he started to come round. He mumbled incoherently for a bit as I led him further up the street.
    'I need to know where you live. I need to know the house, Davie.'
    'Isssabiginj usuphere.'
    I led him on.
    'I'm sorry,' he said, 'I'm really sorry.'
    'That's okay. Let's just get you home.'
    'I'm sorry,' he said again.' Really, I'm sorry.'
    'Let's just get home.'
    'But I'm sorry.'
    'Will you shut the fuck up and keep walking?'
    We did the old three steps forward, two steps back for another five minutes before Davie stopped me outside a large house with a sweeping drive.' Thisit,' he said.
    I looked up. There were lights on.' No one's going to try and shoot me up there, are they?'
    Davie sniggered.' Don't be daft,' he said.
    He lurched forward.
    I followed quickly, just in time to stop him falling over, then guided him to the front door. He leaned his head against it and I rang the bell. There was a short delay, then the bolts went back and a woman I gratefully recognised as his mum opened the door. Then she stepped back as her son fell through it.
    She blinked down at him for a moment, then fixed her gaze on me.
    'Well,' she said, shaking her head, 'I see nothing's changed with you pair.'
     
    She was a nice woman, but sad since her husband died, and clearly not entirely over the moon at how her son had turned out. I was sobering up quite quickly. Davie was upstairs in bed, and I was sipping tea. It was nearly two in the morning. I wanted to sleep, she wanted to talk.
    'He took it very hard,' she said.
    'His dad?'
    'No — Joe Strummer.'
    'Yes. I know.'
    'He should have retired and taken up gardening.'
    'Yes. I know. Joe Strimmer.'
    'What?'
    'Joe . . .'
    'I mean his dad. He worked too hard. Worked himself into the grave. It's very lonely. Don't work too hard, Dan, it's not worth it.'
    'Don't worry about that. It's extremely unlikely.'
    She smiled and sipped her tea.' Did he ask you?'
    'Did he ask me what?'
    'About the trip.'
    'What trip?'
    Mrs Kincaid rolled her eyes.' Heavens to God, that boy.' She shook her head.' Big strapping fella could shoot a Fenian at two hundred metres, but he can't ask his best friend a favour.'
    I wasn't entirely sure about the Fenian, but in this land you have to make allowances for all creeds and bigotries. And as for being his best friend . . . he had to get out more. The idea of Davie looking for a favour from me was somewhat worrying as well. Again, I should have left it.
    But I never do.
    Just shut up, Dan. But no, slabber your way into more trouble.
    'What sort of a favour, Mrs Kincaid?'
    'He's just a big shy lump, so he is.'
    I nodded. She would get there eventually.
    'He's shy, yet he's loud, he's got no confidence, yet sometimes he's the bravest person in the world. He was shot, you know. Several times. He should have been retired on the sick years ago, but he stuck in there because he loved it. But he hated it as well. Do you know what I mean?'
    'Yes, Mrs Kincaid.'
    'I really thought he was going to settle down with this girl, but Davie's such a handful, I think he scared her away. So he's kind of stuck.'
    'In what way, Mrs Kincaid?'
    'With the honeymoon.'
    I nodded. She nodded. She showed no immediate inclination to continue, so I said, 'In what way, stuck?'
    'Well, it's all booked and paid