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a perfect way to begin my visit here."
    "I will arrange this for you. Simply arrive in the lobby tomorrow morning at seven."
    "Thank you, Mr. Lai, for everything," I sincerely smiled.
    As Chow bowed toward me, he said, "It is my pleasure, Miss Torgeson. In case you need anything, please call my cell at any time. The number is on my card."
    "Thank you and good night," I replied, respectfully returning his bow.
    As he closed the door, he hooked the Do Not Disturb sign on the knob. I quickly latched the door and exhaled in exhaustion, then immediately kicked off my shoes, stripped off my clothes, leaving everything where it landed, and moved into the bathroom for a hot bath.
    As I saw my natural reflection in the bathroom mirror, I noticed the fine lines near the corners of my eyes---smile lines---that hinted at my years. Taking care of my fair skin all these years had paid off, for there was no age showing around my lips, and of course my high cheekbones and heart-shaped face helped defy my age, along with my bob haircut. I was happy to see that I still had no gray among my auburn locks.
    The running and yoga is paying off , I told myself.
    As I watched the tub fill, I appreciated the simple perfection of the room. The bathroom was a vision of simplicity, adorned in a light green marble, with a large deep tub situated perfectly for a relaxing bath, with a view straight out the wide bathroom door to the far archway. Near the sink was a simple decorative bowl with one fresh ivory-colored lotus flower floating within.
    As I looked into the bedroom, I admired the majestic carved bed of rosewood claiming the long wall, with two matching nightstands. The wood was a purplish-brown color, richly streaked and grained with layers. Above the center of the king bed hung an enormous, ornate gold and lead crystal chandelier suspended from an even higher ceiling cove, which mimicked the bed size. I was drawn to the headboard, where two beautifully intricate hummingbirds were symmetrically carved, facing one another. I remembered a friend that once explained the Chinese meaning of hummingbirds as "time that stops." As I ran my fingers across the hummingbirds, a lump formed in my throat.
    Hearing the water fill in the tub, I checked and found it nearly full and glided into the hot water. It didn't take long to drown any remembrances of my dreadful flight. As soon as I let it all go, I was ready to contemplate sleep.
    Standing in my towel in front of the matching rosewood desk, I emptied the contents of my purse, searching for the extra-strength Tylenol. I needed to sleep fourteen hours to throw off my jet lag. I swallowed three pills with a swig from the bottled water.
    Tylenol sedated me. No doubt the response was the result of my near suicide when I was sixteen years old. I'd ingested a whole bottle of Tylenol after my mother split up my boyfriend and me. I had every intent of dying that night, having apologized to God for not being stronger and then leaving a note for whoever found me. I took the pills in secret while my parents were on vacation. When I awoke in my bed twenty hours later, I was groggy and realized sadly that I was still alive.
    In that moment two thoughts came to me with perfect clarity.
    One...I was not alone.
    Two...I had a purpose.
    My head pounded, but somehow I recognized that the thoughts had come from somewhere outside myself. I accepted the message, whispering "Okay," as I once more surrendered to unconsciousness.
    It was profound how that single event changed my entire life. In that simple moment, I felt that I had an understanding with God, an agreement that I would never voluntarily give up my life again, until my purpose on earth was fulfilled. That knowledge---that there was meaning in my life---was enough for me to choose to be strong from that point forward.
    The same Tylenol that I'd used to force an end to my life served now as a valium-like sedative for me when sleep was critical; it was the essence of