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pulled up his shirt and undershirt and discovered that the trocar hole, originally closed with a threaded plastic button, was belching liquid, probably propelled by a belly full of gas. His immense girth and the pressure of arms and hands had forced the liquids outward and onto his clothing. I replaced the trocar button, laid plastic sheeting against his bare belly, and sprayed Lysol around the casket. It sufficed until the visitation was over, and we were able to treat the problem later more thoroughly. I had not been the embalmer in this case; whoever was had obviously not treated the thoracic and abdominal organs.
    Those who leave a larger body behind make a larger impression on us all.

How do you snag the instant attention of a young class of mortuary students—or anyone else, for that matter? Just mention decapitation. Amazingly enough, it’s a far more common cause of death than people think, particularly in cases of industrial or auto accidents.
    Back in the 1970s, my classmates and I listened attentively as our embalming instructor detailed the proper procedure for restoring a victim who had suffered the separation of head from body. He outlined for us the fine art of plunging a wooden mop handle, sharpened on both ends, down the spinal column and positioning the head back onto the shoulders by inserting the opposite end into the corresponding column section. The surrounding skin would then be sutured and the sutures waxed over.
    In my more than thirty years as a licensed embalmer, I have used this technique only twice. Both victims, one male and one female, were passengers in an automobile that a fully loaded gravel truck had struck head-on. Apparently the leading edge of the car’s interior windshield frame had sliced off the heads of both occupants. Also, because of the tremendous force of the truck, the injuries were not cleanly administered. Jagged steel and glass had slammed into soft flesh, nearly obliterating all facial features. The only way to distinguish which head belonged to which body, in fact, was the long hair with feminine barrettes still affixed. I situated the heads back onto the corresponding shoulders, but otherwise there was far too much damage to complete a satisfactory restoration.
    FIXING THE BODY
    â€œThey sure do good work here” is a comment I have been hearing more and more since I opened my own funeral home in 2001. My wife, who also works with me, did not quite understand its meaning at first. She assumed that people were congratulating us on our dignified, compassionate manner and the care we provided to client families and our visiting public. But actually, good work ,when we’re talking about funerals,is the term used in my part of the country to describe how natural dead bodies look while reposing in their respective caskets—and that all starts with embalming.
    Injecting a preservative chemical into the right femoral artery or right common carotid artery and opening the accompanying vein allows the blood to drain out of the body, thus allowing the chemical to react with and preserve or harden the surrounding tissues. Today, formaldehyde-based chemicals “fix,” or firm and preserve, human tissue to such a state as to allow for preparation of the body and the funeral to take place.
    Without such treatment, the unforgettable odor of decomposition would greet funeral guests. Even biblical scholars made note of putrefaction: “Jesus lay in the tomb for three days; surely He stinketh.” Biblical accounts report that the dead Jesus was anointed with spices, no doubt to abate inevitable odors. And Shakespeare’s scene in which Romeo visits Juliet in her family’s mausoleum for one last kiss? No way. Since Juliet wasn’t really dead yet, she would have smelled just fine. But her grandparents’ remains would have knocked poor Romeo right out of his socks.
    The Egyptians were the first true embalmers. The Egyptians removed the brain