me.
Enter MRS. S.
I might easily say to you ‘Charlie, give me a child, I want a child.’ I mean, at the very worst you could reply, ‘Anything you say, Annie darling.’
MRS. S . Did you get the cucumber, Mrs. D.?
CATHERINE. No, you didn’t mention cucumber.
MRS. S . Yes, I did. — Just carry on with your conversation, Annie. — I said bring a cucumber, I could see you wasn’t listening.
A NNIE. No-one would think it odd, I’m sure, if I said, ‘Charlie—’
CATHERINE. Leonora’s different from you, Annie.
CHARLIE. It would be a different proposition altogether, Annie.
M RS. S. Leonora hasn’t got freedom of speech like you, Annie. She’s educated. Daphne’s on a diet to catch a husband. It wasn’t much to ask, any normal mother would a laid herself out to get a cucumber under the circumstances, but I knew—
CATHERINE. Leonora’s a scholar, one takes her seriously. There’s no comparison, Annie, between the effect of what you might say and the effect of what Leonora says. M RS. S. We take everything from whence it comes in this establishment, Annie. Poor Leonora don’t get away with much, she can’t sit around like you all morning looking like the Caliph of Bagdad’s favourite Christian. Make people think she was off her rocker. You’re all right, you haven’t got a rocker. I wanted to slice a bit of cucumber for Daphne’s salad, special diet.
CHARLIE. She should eat what’s put before her.
M RS. S. Let her enjoy herself while she’s young. She’ll soon have her Ph.D., and once you’ve got it you’ve had it. Annie, the time’s getting on if you want to change into something suitable for consuming shepherd’s pie with oily lettuce leaves on your side plate.
ANNIE. Mrs. S., I’m sure Mr. S. must have loved you very dearly. I know he must have done.
M RS. S. I wouldn’t be sure. I remain agnostic on that point. What makes you raise the subject, academically speaking?
ANNIE. I always like to bring the conversation round to love, I do it by instinct.
M RS. S. A pernicious instinct. Enough to spoil your appetite. (Goes out.)
CHARLIE. A drink, Annie, … Catherine …?
ANNIE. Yes, please — my usual.
CATHERINE. Please. Annie can take hers—
A NNIE. Annie can take it upstairs while she changes.
CATHERINE. Annie dear, do what you like. I’m all on edge.
A NNIE. I think you very calm and detached in the circumstances, Catherine.
CATHERINE. Thank you, but I don’t feel it.
CHARLIE. Neither do I.
ANNIE. You don’t look it. Catherine does, she’s brilliantly calm.
CHARLIE. She says she does not feel it.
A NNIE. Then she has a marvellous control over her feelings.
C HARLIE. Catherine is usually controlled when she’s got something to worry about, she only loses control when she’s worried about nothing.
A NNIE. Are you sure you are not worrying about nothing? After all, Leonora may be having a little joke. One gets bored at times, after all, and one might easily …
C HARLIE. Leonora doesn’t play little jokes.
CATHERINE. Her jokes are entirely academic and verbal.
A NNIE. I wonder, Charlie, if you’ve been imagining, or partly dreaming about Leonora? Let me assure you that one isn’t morally responsible for what one dreams. A priest told me that.
CATHERINE. Annie—
Enter DAPHNE.
D APHNE. The tape recorder’s gone. Have you got it?
CATHERINE. What do you mean, it’s gone?
C HARLIE. Where’s it gone?
D APHNE. Someone has taken it. Annie, have you moved a tape recorder from the broom cupboard this morning?
A NNIE. I never go near a broom cupboard, darling.
CATHERINE. Have you asked Mrs. S.?
D APHNE. She hasn’t seen it. Someone must have taken it very early this morning. I hid it in the cupboard very late last night. It’s still got the tape in it.
CHARLIE. Damn silly place to put it. Why didn’t you take it to your room?
D APHNE. I thought it would be safer in the broom cupboard. I thought nobody would find it there.
A NNIE. Leonora must have found