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so
that I am walking like a duck. Quack! Quack! A good orgasm seems to bring out
the humor in me even while mixed emotions agitate my heart. Forget my mind, his
presence one-step behind erases all rational thought.
    I drop my forehead against the door, hugging myself and
shivering. “You don’t play fair, Brad.”
    He scoffs and bumps my shoulder, walking quickly into the
house as if to get as far away as possible.
    I run upstairs to my bedroom feeling like an animal trapped
by my own passion, scared to death of losing myself with him, in him, and
through him. He will hurt me, destroy me.
    I slide down my bedroom wall, hugging my knees and rocking.
    Stay away from me, Brad. Please stay away. Go back to
Barbie where you claim you belong.
    He is playing with me. Brad is up to something. How can a
man change so quickly? Why is he suddenly interested in me?
    Yet, I rise from the floor and slowly strip, peeling each
piece of clothing off, my hair covering one eye like a sexy starlet from the
1940’s.
    I fall to the floor and crawl across the carpet like a snake
tempting Eve in the garden of delights.
    I climb on my bed like every night the past week and stroke
myself, thinking of the back seat of the car and how good Brad looked in blue
jeans.
    I turn on my side to give him a full view because Brad is
watching, always watching through the keyhole.
    Don’t trust him. Riley said not to trust him.
    Don’t let him in.
    He wants to come in.
    Did you lock the bedroom door?
    You’re playing with fire.
    You’re going to get burned.
    Brad is going to burn you.
    Yes, he’s burning me up with his eyes!

Chapter 9
    HUSBAND
    I read the entire ebook How to Be a Good Husband for
Dummies Whose Wives Are Clueless about What Kind of Shits They Are Married to
or just how Far the Cheats Will Go blah, blah, blah , but had not yet gone
online to rate the pages because if Ronni noticed my deceit, I planned to
demand my .99 back.
    How to Be a Good
Husband for Dummies
    Chapter 1 Help Out Around the House
    1.       Fold the clothes.
    2.       Take turns loading the dishwasher.
    3.       Carry the trash out, stuffing the bag into the dumpster.
    4.       Roll the dumpster out to the curb on trash day.
    5.       Carry the groceries from the car to the kitchen.
    6.        Roll your sleeves so she will admire your bulging muscles.
    7.       Cook breakfast. See the appendix for instructions
    8.       Clean the house.
    Chapter 2 Support Her Emotionally
    1.       Learn to heat up Chicken Noodle soup.
    2.       Try not to gag when massaging her feet.
    3.       Don’t say, “What’s up, bitch?”
    4.       Listen, keeping your opinions to yourself.
    5.       Be punctual to keep her stress level down.
    6.       Kiss her even when you are not looking for sex.
    Chapter 3 Sex If You Want More Than One Time
    1.       Sleep every night in your wife’s bed
    2.       Do not demand nightly sex. Some nights just spoon her.
    3.       Give her pleasure and do not forget the G-spots.
    4.       Close your eyes if you must during sex.
    5.       Never wear a paper bag over your head during sex.
    6.       Even worse, do not place a bag over her head during sex.
    7.       Remember that oral sex can be a two-way street.
    8.       Do not force her to give you oral sex.
    9.       For instance, never lock her head in a wrestling move.
    10.   Same
goes for sitting on her face.
    11.   Be
a gentleman.
    12.   Be
respectful.
    Chapter 4 Be Romantic
    1.       Place a rose on her pillow, thorn-side down.
    2.       Have a date night every month.
    3.       Deliver flowers to her even when it is not her birthday.
    4.       Tell her she looks as young as when you first met her.
    5.       Tell her, even you met her in elementary school.
    6.       If you can remember your anniversary, buy her a card
    7.       Sneak up behind her and give