Read Discovering April for Free Online

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    “I don’t think so, pal!” I roll my eyes before climbing onto the living room couch and turning on the T.V. Jinx comes crawling into my lap, clawing at the blanket a few times before making himself comfortable on one of my legs. I have to admit, if I had to choose between Jinx and Hunter, I’m glad Jinx is the one that came back. He’s the only male that hasn’t disappointed me yet. I kiss him on the top of his little grey head twice more before flicking the channel.

 
     
     
     
    AFTER THE JINX SCARE, a few more days pass and I slowly get better. Baby steps worth of better; I still can’t see people holding hands or kissing in public, but I can get out of bed and go to school now. It isn’t the break up that bothers me; I think it is the losing a piece of me, losing a piece of my identity.
    For as long as I’ve known, we have been April and Hunter. Now, I am just April and it’s strange. Sitting in class, I almost don’t know how to act. Taking coffee orders at work, people must think I’m a zombie. My tips show it. I’m not the same. Jack has had to send me home a few times. I feel bad making him work a double shift, but what am I going to do? Cry into someone’s latte for the fifth time this week? I can tell I’m not doing him any good here. I fantasize about Hunter coming back to me. I picture him telling me he made a mistake, that he sees that now. Days have gone by and I haven’t even received a text, a Facebook message, tweet, or even an Instagram like since we broke up. He’s cut me out of his life completely, and that’s what kills me, that he could just drop me like that, like I’d been cut from the team.
    I’m walking to the cafeteria in between classes. I don’t know why—I barely eat anymore. I guess it’s just a chaotic place where I can’t hear my own thoughts. I round the corner of the library and I’m about to walk onto the pathway to the cafeteria when I see him. I almost miss him because I’m walking with my head down, but I catch a glimpse of him just in time. I suck in a breath and hide behind the corner of the brick library to watch. He’s hanging out with his group of friends on the bench outside, I see him grab that girl from the party, Big Boobs McVee. He grabs her porcelain-like wrist and pulls her into his arms as his nose falls into her perfect chestnut hair. Definitely not in a friendly manner. I see her face light up and she giggles as he wraps his arms around her and kisses her cheek. I don’t even realize I’ve dropped all the books in my hands until the entire group looks over in my direction. Now, my mother always taught me not to curse. She says cursing is for the ignorant that have no imagination to come up with something better, but sometimes there just isn’t a better word.
    “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” I scream at the fallen books, at Hunter, at the universe, at anyone who would listen. I know they see me. Hunter loosens his grip around the girl and stands to his feet at the sight of me, but I’m already gone.

    I MAKE IT HOME, somehow. I drive through the entire mess of tears that stream down my face.
    I’m in my bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering how I could have gotten here. How did I let this happen? How could I have been so stupid? Rolling over, I pull the covers up over me and let the tears continue to rack my body. I cry until I run out of tears and welcome unconsciousness. By the time the blackness finally comes, my mind it’s tortured once again.
     
    I’m waiting in my plastic seat for my name to be called. Glancing around at the rest of my classmates in their cap and gowns, I know deep down this may be the very last time I see them. Not like it matters. I wasn’t close with anyone but Hunter. As soon as I think his name, our eyes meet. He winks at me from a few rows back. The blush that creeps into my cheeks makes my entire body heat up. We had sex last night for the first time. It wasn’t like the movies, but it was